Going Pro
by Crystalkei
Summary: Jess has graduated from university and Joe's got an offer for her to play. But who wants to play professional football for your ex-boyfriend?
1. Chapter 1

_The original characters of Bend it Like Beckham do not belong to me. They belong to Gurinda Chadha and Fox and all that. Enjoy. This is my first attempt at something other than Firefly so please, be gentle. This has been beta'd by Ereshkigalgirl. Many thanks to her; she's been busy and she had time for me. _

I made it through University. I made it through homesickness, lack of good Indian food, late night study sessions, and college "soccer." What didn't make it through Santa Clara University? Jess and Joe. I know I was madly in love with him. I know he felt the same about me. But, it just didn't work. I went to parties and he got jealous. He went clubbing with his newly championed team and I got a bit jealous. Okay, a lot jealous.

It was a long four years at school 4000 miles away. We lasted three semesters. By the time I got home for Christmas during sophomore year we fought too much. So I went back to school without a boyfriend.

Today I graduated. My parents are helping me pack up my room so we can get on a plane and go home. I've cleaned out the mini fridge, checked the closet for stray shoes, I've finished going through my desk. The single bed has been stripped of its linens and mum is sweeping the last bit of dust off the floor into a dustpan. But there's a box of dishes, cleaning supplies, and odds and ends that I need to get rid of.

The envelope in my hand is the problem. It's an offer from the Hounslow Harriers Professional Football team. An offer with a lot of money attached.

He might not even be the coach anymore…oh who am I kidding? I know he is. My address is handwritten in_ his_ handwriting. He signed the offer. I'm sure he's just doing what's best for his team by making me an offer. Joe's not harboring any left over feelings. Surely. I saw him at Christmas in a pub with Jules. He was with Jules, but its fine. She came back and resumed her hectic dating schedule. College boys were good to her.

I dated a bit, had some fun. But, I didn't have much time for it. Jules didn't need to study; she excelled in school without much of that. I've always had to work hard for my grades, so when I wasn't practicing with the team, I was in the library revising.

Of course, what boy can measure up when your first boyfriend feels like your soul mate? None of them could hold a candle to Joe. I gave up trying after a while.

"Jessie," my father broke into my thoughts. "How could you accumulate all these things?"

"Dad I've been in this room for a year," it had been my first and only year without a roommate. "I needed stuff. I'm donating most of it to the student center. Don't worry I won't take the broom on the airplane."

"_Ba ba _we are almost finished," my mother chided. "We have to be at the air port in two hours. Go put these things in the car," she pointed to my bags. "I'll walk with Jessie down to the student center, come on dear."

I rolled the envelope in my hands. "What's that dear?"

"Just some mail," I told her and tossed it in my backpack.

I'll deal with it later.

* * *

"Jess!" Pinky hugged me "I missed you! I'm so glad you're home. Good flight, yeah?"

"Yeah, Teet gettin' the car?" I asked.

"Nah, he's home with the boys," she said. "I parked over there. Dad, you got the bags?"

"Yes _butai_, let's get going."

Unpacking my bags at home was easy, but a little weird. I was glad to be home, but I still hadn't decided what to do with my life. So filling my closet had a sense of foreboding. If you're Indian, you're expected to live with your parents until your married. Pinky had done it, but I'd spent the last four years living in dorm rooms, not with parents. This was going to be an experience.

Of course, I needed to decide on my career as well. I had completed the pre-law program at uni, but I didn't want to be a solicitor. I wanted to play football.

The league in America had been disbanded a year after I got to America. No one supported women's football in America anymore. There were a few teams in Europe, but none of them had any idea who I was. Except one, the one I didn't want to call.

I could go and check it out, ask around, see who was still on the team. Maybe Mel was still the captain. Sally and Mackenzie might still play for the Harriers. I might still have friends there.

I grabbed my back pack to pull out the envelope when Pinky walked in. "Livin' back in mum and dad's house is a bit weird innit?" she asked.

"Yeah," I put my bag down and smiled at her. "You survived, I guess I can."

"Won't be long 'fore you start sneakin' off to see boys," she winked at me. "Few new families moved in since you've been gone. Some really nice guys, Teet just hired a guy named-"

"Pinks!" I interrupted. "I've been home an hour, I'm impressed at your restraint, I really thought you'd mention something on the drive home."

She giggled then took on a more serious look, "You've had your fun at university, playing football, now it's time to settle down, innit? What d'you plan on doing anyway? Got any jobs lined up?"

"No," I huffed. "Well, maybe, I just gotta sort it out."

"What d'you mean?"

I reached into my bag, pulled out the envelope and handed it to her.

"What's this?"

"The job I can't decide if I'm going to take."

"It's from that football team your _goreh_ ex coaches for," she noted.

"Yeah," I blew out a breath. "That's why I can't decide if I'm gonna take it. We didn't exactly part happily. It'll be pretty awkward."

"I had no idea you could make this much money playing football," she exclaimed. "That's almost as much as Teetu makes!"

"So you think I should take it?" I bit my lip turning it over in my mind. It would be nice to have Pinky make the decision for me.

"I don't know," her brow furrowed in thought. "It's a lot of money, but can you work with Joe?"

I rolled my head from side to side and held my hands over my face. "I don't know."

* * *

Dinner that night went just like my conversation with Pinky. My mum begged me to learn to sew and go out with one of her friend's son's. Father just smiled and nodded with my mother when she talked about how I should help her cook and clean until I got a job.

That kind of talk made me bring up the football offer from Joe.

"I thought you were done with all this childish football," my mother scolded. "You need to spend time making yourself ready to be a good wife like your sister."

I was shocked when Pinky stood up for me, "Mum, it's a good offer, she can make a good amount of money. Traveling could be good as well, she might meet more Indian boys that way." My mother pursed her lips but listened to Pinky. "This lot isn't really good enough for Jess anyway." Mum tilted her head in narrowed her eyes.

"That's true," she conceded. "There are not many who are as educated as she is, they are working toward it, but she's ahead of them. They might think she's too smart."

After dinner my father pulled me aside and spoke in hushed tones so that my mother in kitchen couldn't hear him, "Joe is still the coach. Did you know that? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I know. He's the one that sent the offer," I whispered. "I'm not sure about it just yet. I don't know if I can work with him."

"I know you didn't part on the best of terms with him," my father told me. "But, he's still very polite. Sometimes, when I really missed you, I'd go down to the pitch and watch them practice. He always allowed it, even though I think it made him uncomfortable."

"He always was scared of you," I said with a smile. "I think I'll head down there tomorrow, check it out, see who I know on the team."

"Alright," my father hugged me to him. "It's so good to have you home, but I'll still worry about you. You are a brilliant footballer and if this is what you want, I think you should try to work with him."

As I was encircled by my father's loving arms I sighed and relished in the fact that I was home. A new portion of my life was starting and it was probably going to start with a difficult conversation at a pitch I used to love.

* * *

I had a hard time sleeping that night. I was still jet lagged, but that isn't why I couldn't sleep. Joe's piercing eyes had a way of getting into my mind. When I slept I dreamt of him.

"_You've gotten to be a sissy living in California," he hollered at me from across the pitch. "Out of breath already? It's not even that cold!" _

_He came running at me and tried to take the ball from me, but my feet were faster and I knew which knee was bad. I used it to my advantage and dribbled past him, kicking the ball straight into the net. _

_Suddenly I was lifted into the air by my legs, my body thrown over his shoulder. "No victory dance for you," he yelled. _

"_Put me down!" I screamed. He threw me onto the cold pitch and I thudded on the ground. "Cor, that hurt. I think you've bruised my arse." _

"_Shall I kiss it better for you?" he winked as he stood over me. _

"_No!" I pulled him down next to me. "But you may kiss my cheek," I smiled innocently and offered him my cheek. He pulled me onto his lap and squeezed my bum. _

"_How 'bout these cheeks?" _

_I smacked him playfully on the chest and rolled my eyes. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. At first it was soft and sweet; then it was so heated I forgot to breathe. I pulled away huffing. He smiled and then he was gone and I was sitting on an empty pitch._

_The lights turned hot and a crowd appeared and I had no boots on, no shin guards, and no kit. People started booing. _

"Jessminder!" my mother scolded me in Punjabi and then continued in English, "It's past ten, you are going to sleep the day away."

* * *

On the way to the pitch I stopped at Tony's. His mother had died while I'd been at school, so he was on his own now. I was curious to see if he'd changed his mother's house to reflect a gay man's lifestyle. He hadn't.

The same gaudy wall paper and furnishings my parents had, he still kept.

"What're you up to today?" he asked enthusiastically.

"I'm heading down to the pitch," he sucked in air. I'd told Tony about the offer as soon as I'd gotten it. He'd already expressed his concerns about me working with Joe again. "I know, I know, but I think the money is worth it."

"It's a lot of money," Tony conceded. "And you'd be playing football. I wish I had a team courting me. Instead, it's off to Heathrow for me."

"Right, well," I nodded. "Guess I'll let you get to work and I'll continue on with my unemployed self. Walk the streets, be useless to society."

"You could be at home learning to mend clothes," he teased. "I know your mum's dying to teach you. C'mon, I'll drive you to the pitch."

"Have you thought about him a lot?" Tony prodded once we were in the car. "I mean, have you been remembering him?"

"Want to know if I've been regretting my decision to ditch him?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's good looking, he liked your family, didn't mind that you played football, didn't mind you were Indian. I can think of a lot of reasons you would regret it. I would regret the decision."

"Then you date him," I shot back.

"I would," he laughed. "But he isn't my type."

* * *

Walking towards the pitch, my stomach started to tie in knots. Part of my stomach rolled at seeing Joe, the other part gnawed for the thrill of the game, the friendships and the joys of first learning that I could really play.

The first summer I'd been back from school I practiced with the team. Who doesn't want to spend extra time with their boyfriend and play the game they love? It was fun to be back with the girls, as well. And I was in the best shape when I got back to school in the fall.

Joe had gotten special permission for me to play from the club owners. They didn't seem to mind that he and I had a relationship, but the summer tournament we'd won the year before was cancelled in favor of a men's tournament.

Since our breakup I avoided the pitch. It was my decision to end the relationship, but I still loved him. I was afraid I still loved him now. His offer was driving me mad, but my father was right. I shouldn't let him stand in the way of my football dreams. I could do this. I was an adult. I had a college degree. I'd played football at a college level. I dated a few boys since he and I broke up. I could do this.

Before I went any closer to the pitch, I pulled my hair out of the plait it was in. Running my fingers through my hair to style it, I began to stretch as I would if I were warming up for a game: pulling my foot up behind me, pulling one arm across my chest, stretching both arms back and forth. I'm sure I looked silly, but I wanted to be ready for anything. I pulled out the cell phone my mum had lent me and checked my teeth in the mirror on the front. When did I become such a girl?

I passed the women's locker room as I walked. I thought about going in, but I didn't feel like I belonged there, not yet.

Once inside, I found a spot in the bleachers and tried to lay low. I watched the girls practicing and I recognized a few faces, but there were mostly new faces. And new coaches. I noticed two old men in polo shirts directing the practice. That made me leery. Dad said Joe was still coaching and he signed the offer the Harriers had sent to me.

Frantically I scanned the pitch; I should be thrilled that he wasn't there. But, part of me wanted to take the job just to be near him. It was the first time I admitted it to myself, but it was true all along. Also, I didn't need him sneaking up on me, spying. I needed to see him coming.

No matter how many times I looked, he was not on the pitch. Glancing at the stairs that led to the bar, I saw him. He wore the white shirt typical to his working in the bar, not to practice. Being head coach of a professional team had changed his wardrobe, I supposed. He loomed over a folder, maybe it was a playbook. It had to be, his brow was furrowed and he bit his lip, he was concentrating. His head started to turn, whether it was in my direction or another, I didn't know, but I turned my head back to the pitch quickly. I didn't want to be caught staring.

Focusing my attention back on the practice, I slumped further down in my seat. Out of my peripheral vision I saw him glance toward me. _Please, don't see me_. I chanted in my head. Chanting wouldn't make it true. I noticed him tense and stay turned toward me. Damn, he'd seen me and now he was doing the same thing I'd done minutes before. I knew his eyes were examining me. Seeing how I'd changed since he'd seen me last.

He could make me turn to mush with those looks. I didn't want to be mush today. I wanted to be a world class, university educated footballer. I wanted to impress the team and him. But none of that would happen if he kept staring and I continued turning to overcooked _aloo gobee_.

The team broke off into a scrimmage and I continued to keep my eyes on the pitch. Joe didn't need to know I noticed him. Play it cool, I could do that. Watching the girl's play actually did distract me. I started to get excited and even cheered a bit. I noticed some of the girl's making mistakes, but on the whole, this team was pretty good.

So entranced was I by the score, I forgot about Joe. That is, until he sat down next to me. He was careful not to touch me. It was very much like the first time we sat and talked in the bleachers. Trading scar stories and getting to know each other seemed eons ago. And it was. Four years was a long time.

"Number twelve is your show off, yeah?" I had to break the uncomfortable silence, best to do it with football and not, "You're turning me to mush."

"Yeah, she's a bit of a ball hog," he agreed professionally. "If I can't break her of it, I'll have to get rid of her."

"Mel could break her of it," I offered, finally looking at him. "Where is she?"

"She had a baby last week," he turned and gave me a half smile. This might be as hard for him as it was for me. "She was out all last season and I'm not sure she's coming back after her maternity leave."

"I hadn't heard," I looked back to the pitch, embarrassed I didn't know what was going on with people who were once my friends. "Did she have a boy or a girl?" It was a dumb question, but I didn't know what else to say.

"I dunno," Joe chuckled. "They all look like potatoes to me. Except maybe your sister's son, he looked like a boy." We both tensed. He'd gotten too comfortable talking to me and now we had to acknowledge our past.

Trying to laugh it off, I continued, "It was all that hair, I think he had more hair than you."

"How are Pinky and the rest of your family?" he slipped back into being polite and professional.

"Fine," I answered quickly. "Your dad?"

"Fine."

We let the thick silence surround us for a few minutes. It never got any easier. So I was surprised when Joe spoke, "I'll understand if you don't take the offer." He lowered his head as if I'd already declined.

"My father told me I shouldn't let my relationship with you stand in the way of my desire to live my life," I said, looking anywhere but his face. "The life I want, with the profession I want."

"I'd hoped to attach enough money, making it an easy decision for you," he told me, still looking at the ground. "This team needs a leader and I think you'd be best for it. I tried to get Jules as well, but I guess South America is more exotic than Hounslow."

"Paolo is more exotic than the boys here," I smiled. "He's the flavor of the week and it just so happened that his father was a scout for the women's team in Brazil."

"Should've known," Joe looked at me and smiled, a genuine one this time. I smiled back wider. "College life suited her then? Boys and all?"

"Yeah, she enjoyed it. She liked that most of the guys respected her for playing, instead of being prats about it."

"And you?" his smile faded away as he asked.

"Nothing serious," I said. "I was too busy studying; my parents would've hauled me home if I'd gotten poor marks."

"Yeah, I haven't really had time for that kinda stuff," he replied quickly. "Me schedule's been full with the team and all."

"Right," I tried not to smile. "How's it been going anyhow? The team, I mean, what am I getting myself into?"

"You're right about Liz," he leaned back and put his feet up on the chair in front of him. "She's one for showin' off, doesn't like to share the ball. But she could be good, just got to take care of her ego problem. Sally's been trying to fill in as the captain, but you remember her, she doesn't have the face for it. She just can't be mean. Lilah and Trina are a team that reminds me of you and Jules," he pointed to a stout red headed girl and a tall blonde. "They came as a pair, right outta school. Sometimes it's hard to get them to concentrate on practice and not boys or clothes or whatever it is you girls talk about."

I smacked his arm and shook my head, "What do boys talk about?"

"Liquor and sport," he laughed.

"And loose women," I finished for him. It was an old joke we'd had. Whenever he'd get sick of the 'girl talk' that Jules and I might partake in. He'd tell us men only talked of important things: liquor, sport, and loose women.

Without thinking I told him I'd be back tomorrow for practice. I surprised myself and him as well. "We can do this, we're adults and we can be friends and work together, its fine. I can do it if you can," I explained.

"Of course I can do it," he boasted. "I wouldn't have made the offer otherwise. I'll see you tomorrow at nine. Don't be late. I'll have you sign the papers in the office and then you can suit up with the team at ten. Give my best to your father, I've got to go do some real work," he winked and took off toward the pitch.

I sat in the bleachers frozen. My pulse quickened and my hands sweat and I had the dumbest smile on my face. Watching him walk away I realized this wasn't going to be easy. I still loved him. My gosh, what was I thinking? Now I was really in it.


	2. Chapter 2

_The original characters of Bend it Like Beckham do not belong to me. They belong to Gurinda Chadha and Fox and all that. Enjoy. This is my first attempt at something other than Firefly so please, be gentle. This has been beta'd by Ereshkigalgirl. Many thanks to her; she's been busy but she made time for me._

Chapter 2

**Christmas break, freshman year**

"_I'm surprised you're mum didn't smack me," Joe said. "She looked like her head might explode."_

"_You didn't expect that?" I told him. "I told you she wouldn't be easy to convince."_

"_Your dad loves me," he took my hand as we walked towards his car. "We joke, play cricket, sometimes he even let's me win. I thought your mum liked me as well." _

"_She liked you until you said you were my boyfriend," I moved in closer to him and put my hands under his scarf. He put his arms around my waist. "Its fine, though, she'll warm back up. Are you going to visit your dad for Christmas?"_

_He kissed my nose and smiled, "Nah, Dad's coming here; should be an experience."_

"_That's brilliant. You two getting along and all that?"_

"_Yeah, but I'd rather spend Christmas with you," he sighed. _

"_You play your cards right, you just might," I teased. "Don't worry; mum will be better by Christmas. Dad's working on it. She's just got to have time to be surprised. Besides Indians don't date, we get married. Mum hears we're dating and she worries we'll get married."_

"_What's so revolting about us being married?" he asked shyly. _

_The question caught me off guard. We'd just been reunited after three months of emails and a few phone calls. I felt strongly for him, but how strong? It was as if he was cautiously drawing a line in the sand, it was up to me to pick a side._

"_Nothing, but I'm young," I explained. "And she's worried that with you being Irish, it won't work. My cousin's divorced and mum thinks it's because she married a white boy. She just wants what's best for me."_

_I was proud of my answer It hinted at me being unsure about my feelings for Joe but put all the blame on my mother. He seemed okay with the answer, as well. _

"_Maybe she's just worked herself into a panic over being a grandmother?" Joe offered. _

"_Could be, but I think she's more excited than not with Pinky and Teet's news."_

"_You'd better go back in," he told me. "Your mum's going to wonder what we've been doing out here."_

"_Let's do something worth it then," I leaned in and touched my lips to his. He pulled away too soon._

"_Oh, no you don't," he smiled. "You are not going to get me in more trouble with your parents."_

"_Sometimes I wish you were more like the boys at school," I huffed, frustrated._

"_What's that supposed to mean?" he sounded irritated. _

"_They're the ones encouraging the girls," I said. "You'd be happy to see me celibate forever."_

"_I'm trying to respect your parent's wishes," he shot back. "I'm walking a fine line here. Besides, what do you care about college boys?"_

"_Forget it," I hissed. "I'll see you tomorrow."_

I talked to my parents about my decision to play for the Harriers again. Mum was disappointed, but she knew I loved the game and she couldn't complain too much. It was a job.

As I lay in bed that night I catalogued all the conversations Joe and I had ever had. I noted that most ended badly. One of us baiting the other into an argument that we never finished.

I'm the queen of backing away from the fight. My favorite move is to walk away mad. I'd rather fume than actually have the fight or better yet talk about the problem. Few times in my life have I faced the music and had the talk, but it hardly turns out the way I'd choose, especially with Joe. I much prefer being angry.

He's the only person that can make me so mad that I can't see the big picture. We both cared too much about each other to stand down and admit we were wrong.

Pinky explained it to me that when you're in love you change. A normally jealous person is completely trusting and a trusting person become overly jealous. Apparently Joe and I were normally trusting, but being with the other made us jealous. It was just one more obstacle to keep us apart, as if we didn't have enough concerns.

Tossing and turning weren't helping so I picked up my phone and dialed Tony.

"Yeah?" he answered sounding out of breath.

"It's me," I replied. "What're you doing?"

"Um, Jess," he hesitated and stumbled over his words.

"If you're busy, it's fine, I just couldn't sleep," I interrupted his rambling.

"Okay, talk to you later." And then he hung up.

Digging around in my dresser drawer I found my telephone book and started flipping the pages. Jules was in Brazil, Tony was busy, and Pinky was, of course, at home with her own little family. During my school breaks I never needed anyone else, now that I was home for good I realized I needed to make some new friends.

My parents were sound asleep by ten. They always were. It's why Pinky snuck out so easily and often. I could go out. Go for a walk; maybe go to the pub down the street.

Grabbing my hand bag, I checked for the mace a friend at school had given me. She told me I always looked so meek and scared so she bought the keychain mace as a joke. I liked carrying it though; it made me feel safe. Not that there was much crime in our neighborhood.

Once I slipped out the door, I turned back to the undisturbed house. They still slept like rocks. With that thought, I turned to the street and began walking.

Jules was probably enjoying her newest boy toy and her exotic new locale while I walked through the streets of London like some gypsy. It occurred to me that Tony was probably on a date, hence the hesitation on his part. Joe could be anywhere, out at the bar, maybe entertaining a female friend. He'd mentioned not having time for dating, but he was a man. Surely I wasn't the last woman he'd been with.

So engrossed in my thoughts was I that I completely passed the pub on the corner. My subconscious had brought me to the pitch. Only half the lights were on and I meandered right to the center. It was late, so no one was there, but I could see the bar in the distance. It was lit up as it should be at eleven in the evening.

I lay down and looked at the sky. It was dark, but the lights were still too bright for me to see any stars. It was cold, but not too cold. It was pleasant and before long I was almost asleep. Thankfully, something nudged me gently awake.

I opened one eye and immediately shut it. Joe was standing over me.

"Surely your family hasn't kicked you out?" he spoke slowly and deliberately. He was drunk. Just what I needed: a drunk ex boyfriend. "You haven't come here to think in three years."

"It's been two and a half," I corrected, still laying on the ground, eyes still closed.

"Just like the English," he slurred. "Always gotta be right."

"Just like an Irishman to be pissed," I shot back.

He plopped down next to me and started playing with my hair. Pulling strands and twisting them around his fingers. He must have been really drunk; he was slipping into old habits.

I opened my eyes and tried to give him a dirty look. It didn't work. My face just molded into a look of pity.

"I came on autopilot," I told him. "I couldn't sleep and I snuck out. Pinky wasn't kidding, it's incredibly easy." I smiled maniacally. Joe just kept playing with my hair. "I've never seen you this pissed."

"Haven't been this pissed in two and a half years," he explained. "Not since my girlfriend went back to America to date wanker university boys. They're smarter than me, have more money than me, who knows, maybe she even liked their accents better than my Irish one."

"It's not like I dumped you again," I mumbled. "What made you drink so much?"

"My girlfriend came back, and now, I've got to work with her, but…" he stumbled over the words and then became incredibly clear. "I don't know how I'm going to stop myself from falling for her again."

Joe dropped my hair and turned away from me. I debated saying something, might as well. He may not remember it in the morning.

"I still love you," I whispered. He turned quickly and looked at me. I saw the tear tracks on his face and I broke. I sat up and kissed him. At first, he didn't respond and then slowly, he pulled me closer, brushing my cheek and sending shivers down my spine.

It was the shivers that snapped me out of it.

Pulling away slowly, I shook my head, "I'm sorry, that was unprofessional of me."

"Wha?" Joe was dazed and I remembered he was trashed.

"Go home," I ordered. "Will you make it there fine? You haven't moved, right? It's still just down the street?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'll see _you_ at practice tomorrow!" he shook his finger at me and stumbled a bit.

"Hopefully nine hours is enough time for you to sleep all this off, otherwise," I noted. "I have a feeling you'll be calling in late." As I watched him leave the pitch I gathered my things so that I, too, could head home.

Sneaking back in the house was easy, sleeping was not.

There was no way this was going to work out.

Sometimes I hated being right. Today I was thrilled to be right. I didn't want to sit in a room with Joe. I got to the club office five minutes early, but was greeted by one of the older men in polos from the day before. He was in his fifties with cropped white hair, but incredibly muscled, it was a little weird.

"Coach Sullivan's running a little late this morning, so he asked me to help you with the paperwork. I'm Coach Graham."

"Jess Bhamra," I offered him my hand. He shook my hand and smiled slightly. "Nice to meet you."

He offered me a seat and a pen and I began the process of signing the contract. Initials, signatures, tax information, I felt like I was signing my life away.

"Here's the book of team policies," Coach Graham handed me a small, spiral bound book. "You need to read it and when you're done you need to sign the slip at the end and return it to us."

"What's in it?" I asked.

"Just the rules for traveling," he told me. "Fines for missing training, dating policies et cetera."

"Dating policies?" I asked, taken aback. Did he know about my history with Joe?

"Yeah," he chuckled. "You can't date another player. We're completely okay with whatever orientation you have, but when you ladies get involved and then fight; it makes things messy for the team."

"Oh," I laughed nervously. Maybe he didn't know. "Yeah, of course, well that shouldn't be a problem with me." I smiled.

"Better go change," Coach Graham said sternly. "Practice starts in twenty minutes. Don't think I'll let it slide if you're late, even if it is your first day."

Practice went well. The old girls welcomed me back warmly and the new girls seemed impressed with me, all except the show off Liz. I noticed she was more arrogant than I first assumed.

Joe never showed. Graham and his look-a-like, who I learned was Coach Reilly, ran the practice. It was fine with me, but when I reached the locker room I found out Joe had a few admirers that weren't happy with his absence. Liz and a girl who was a classic follower whined about it while I changed.

"I heard Reilly tell Graham he was hung over," the follower gossiped. "No need to take him that soup you were talking about."

"It's too bad I couldn't be around when he needed a ride home," Liz chirped. "I'd love to tuck him into bed."

They went on for a few minutes before Sally went over to them, "You two are disgusting," she scolded. "Joe is off limits and you're stupid for even wishing. Just get over it and move on." Two dirty looks and Sally turned toward me. "No offense Jess."

I closed my eyes and bowed my head and Sally seemed to realize her faux pa.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," she apologized as the rest of the new girls looked at me. Some of them were lost; some of them clearly knew what she was inferring. Liz was the one with the dirtiest look.

"It's fine Sally," I tried to brush it off. "I'll see you lot tomorrow." I tried not to rush out, but I needed to get out of there fast. I hoped that the new girls wouldn't find out about Joe and me, but it seemed that was too lofty a goal.

Once I'd left the building I was surprised to see Tony's car in the parking lot. I was even more surprised to see him and Joe talking outside the car. Running the other direction seemed like a good plan except that put me back in the locker room with all the recently enlightened girls. Running to the car and begging Tony to drive quickly away seemed flawed since anyone coming out of the locker room would see me in close proximity to Joe. I was trapped.

Turning around to check that no one was making their way outside yet, I decided to head toward the car. As I approached both Tony and Joe were smiling at me.

"Good practice?" Tony asked.

"Fine," I said shortly, giving a fake smile to the both of them.

"Your mum asked me to pick you up," Tony explained, "something about an early dinner. Joe and I were just talking about the team, you like it?"

"Yeah, it's great. Let's go." I threw my bag in the car. Tony walked around to the driver's side. I got into the car, but the window was rolled down, no escaping Joe.

"Nice talkin' to you Joe," Tony said. "Let me know when the first game is."

"I'm sure Jess will let you know," Joe smiled at me. Maybe he didn't remember last night, I could hope. "I'll see you tomorrow Jess. You got an easy day because I wasn't here. It's gonna be tougher tomorrow."

"I'll be on time," I said, trying to read him. Sleep was going to elude me again.

He bent down and whispered in my ear, "Come back and see me tonight."

My eyes narrowed, but he just smiled and waved as he walked toward the pitch. He remembered. He had to. Otherwise he'd have no need to talk to me. I didn't want to talk to him.

The rest of the evening I spent nervous. I wasn't sure if I should go. My bed was cozy and held no promise of heartbreaking conversation. But then again, it probably didn't hold sweet dreams either. If I did go, I could set the rules; let him know that I wasn't going to jeopardize my career because of long ago feelings for him. If I didn't show he might rethink things and we could go on like it never happened. The problem was the feelings were quickly surfacing again and it seemed he was feeling the same.

In the end, I decided to stay home.

Football was the goal, not falling in love again.

Pinky had asked me years before how I could not want to be married. _I want more than that_, just as I'd told her then; I needed to have more now. Joe and I tried to be together before and it didn't work out. Even if we tried again, there was no guarantee it would work.

To my own shock, I went to bed and fell right to sleep. It was a great night of sleep, the best I'd gotten in weeks. Stressing and worrying over Joe was burning me out, but making the decision to stay home brought me brilliant sleep. Too good of sleep.

I ran to practice, but was still late.

"Bhamra, did ya get the policies book?" Joe asked, irritated. "You read the portion on tardiness?"

"Yes, Coach," I tried to be polite.

"Your pay will be docked," he noted. "Don't care if it's your second day, you want to give me an excuse you can do it in my office after practice."

"I'll take the dock," I sniped.

"Good, because the only excuse I'd accept better come from a doctor," he drilled on.

"I said I'd take the dock," I yelled. "Leave it alone, Joe!"

We stood toe to toe, fuming. Coach Reilly walked over to us as Coach Graham tried to distract the rest of the team with warm ups.

"You two might want to take this into the office," Reilly spoke low. "Although, I would suggest you" he pointed to me, "get on the field and practice and you go to the office and review the schedule."

Huffing, he turned abruptly and stormed towards the office. I turned and kicked my legs angrily, but went to practice.

The girls tried not to stare, but I made it through better than the day before. After practice I walked to the office to apologize to Joe. Working together was not working out.

Joe sat poring over the papers on his desk. Around the room books were shoved on the floor, paper strewn, and a stapler was at my feet. He trashed his office at some point. My guess was when he left our argument. Even though hours had passed since the fight, I could tell he was still upset.

I cleared my throat to get his attention, but he kept his head down.

"I'm sorry about being late and snapping at you," I said. "I overslept. It's not a worthy excuse and I deserve the dock."

"You won't be docked," he mumbled.

"I should be. Don't play favorites, it'll make you look bad," I suggested.

"Those girls think I'm docking your pay," he said. "I looked bad because I was angry that you didn't show up last night."

"We agreed to be adults about this," I told him. "Late night meetings at the pitch are hardly a professional portion of our relationship."

"Neither is you kissing me," Joe argued. "Why can't we have both?"

"It's against the rules. It's clearly outlined in the policy book you gave me!"

"You said…" he started but I cut him off.

"I lied!" I yelled. It was harsh and untrue, but something had to be done to stop this conversation. I immediately regretted it. Joe stood quickly tossing more papers about.

"Okay, well, if it's my turn to hurt you," he growled. "I slept with Jules last Christmas."

I took a step back and bumped into the door. I was flabbergasted and I started to get dizzy. It was getting harder to breathe so I carefully opened the door and ran. The whole team seemed to be walking out, chattering loudly about the day. I ran past them and started to run home. Vaguely I heard Joe come out of the office behind me screaming my name, trying to get me to come back.

When I got far enough away from the pitch I stopped running and threw up on sidewalk.

I didn't go home; instead I went to Pinky's. Thankfully her boys were napping so she took me in, undistracted. She just pulled me in and held me. I cried. I cried so hard I couldn't even tell her what happened. She just knew it was something with Joe, but she held me anyways.

By the time I could breathe evenly and speak without hiccupping my mother had called to check where I was. Pinky shut her down, too. I relayed the story to Pinky and she hated Joe with a thousand fires and cursed him in a both languages we knew.

"That's hardly a fair fight," she said. "Really trying to hurt you, was he? Was that even the truth or was he just being a prat? Doesn't matter in my book, stupid Englishman."

"He's Irish," I corrected.

"Oh, don't stand up for him." That seemed very funny to me and I started to giggle uncontrollably. "Now you've gone round the bend," she shook her head. "I'll get the ice cream."

I spent the night at Pinky's and was glad that the next day was Saturday. No need to avoid Joe or my teammates; maybe I'd feel better by Monday.

Sometime before I woke, Joe came by Pinky's. She wouldn't tell me what he looked like, just that he was rambling frantically but she wouldn't listen. She slammed the door in his face.

Tony came to take me home around midday. My mother didn't trust me to walk, so she sent Tony. She was still under the impression that Tony was mad over me and I knew that all his picking up was her trying to get us together.

"It was a terrible thing he did," Tony told me in the car "but you were just as mean."

"Just like men to stick together," I mumbled.

"I'm not saying what he did was right," he argued. "I'm saying you need some perspective. You ripped his heart out, so he did the same to you. Remember you both are at fault, not just him."

"Jules was my best friend," I pointed out.

"And she isn't now," he said. "She hasn't been your best friend since you left for University. You two grew apart; you spent time together when you came home, not at school. You told me that. Surely your former best friend and your former boyfriend didn't conspire to break your heart years later."

"Damn you," I growled.

"I love you, too," he replied cheekily.

"No, I mean you're right, I hate it and I still hate him, but you're right."

"Your dad said Joe came by the house this morning," Tony explained. "He looked like hell and he sounded it, too, according to your father. You'll have to forgive him, especially if you're going to work with him. And I'm pretty sure you have to work with him, you did sign a contract."

"This is for the best," I told him. "At least now we will have to be businesslike. Nothing else for us, we've hit bottom, we can't make this any worse."


	3. Chapter 3

_The original characters of Bend it Like Beckham do not belong to me. They belong to Gurinda Chadha and Fox and all that. Enjoy. This is my first attempt at something other than Firefly so please, be gentle. This has been beta'd by Ereshkigalgirl. Many thanks to her; she's been busy but she made time for me. _

_A big shout out to all the lovers: I appreciate the comments! It's great to hear I'm not the only one that loves this story. ;)_

Chapter 3

Going back to practice was painful, but not as painful as I thought it would be. Over the weekend most of the girls seemed to forget my drama and had some of their own. A new club had opened Saturday night and there was plenty of fresh gossip for the team to chat about instead of me and Joe and our embarrassing display.

Joe, too, had backed off. The assistant coaches ran the majority of practice while Joe worked with individual players, training and refining their technique. Luckily, my technique was refined. When I needed correcting Reilly or Graham would take me aside. Whether they knew or guessed what happened between Joe and me, I wasn't sure, and I didn't ask.

Joe and I made it through the summer with little or no daily interaction. The routines of my life were settling in nicely, and I began to feel comfortable again.

I started receiving overly cautious emails from Jules; Joe must have let her in on our altercation. At first the emails were just a bit more pleasant than usual. My lack of communication brought on apologies and sob stories. Sometimes I would read them; sometimes I deleted them right away. I just wasn't feeling very forgiving.

The season would be starting soon and I was thrilled. It was easy for me to be frustrated during the off season because there was no goal to work towards. I enjoyed matches and the rush of energy and adrenaline they brought.

I was also looking forward to a tournament that I helped coordinate. My former coach at Santa Clara had suggested it, and I took the information to Coach Reilly and then to Joe. It took months to prepare, but the work I did was with my former coach. Emails exchanges did most of the work and it gave me something else to focus on besides practice.

September came and went and October blew in with cold air, but all I could think of was the trip back to California. My friends still at college made plans for my visit and my old team mates were sending me emails often expressing their excitement for both my return and the exhibition tournament.

The club could only afford to take fifteen of the twenty members of the team and one coach. Of course, Joe would go, but the other five members of the team that didn't get to travel were displeased. The most vocal of them being Liz the showoff; she whined and argued with any coach that would give her a moment. Then in the locker room she boasted that she was better than some of the other girls going and whine some more. I was glad to finally get on the plane and be rid of her for a while.

Once we got to the States, we had to get off the plane and go through customs. Most of the team was excited for a walk around, but I hated customs. It was always a hassle for me. I looked Arab, and Americans had a problem with Arabs. Sad as it was, I'd grown used to it. Having made the trip more than ten times back and forth to California, I recognized most of the customs people.

"We need to send you through a secondary screening," the lady droned. She looked like the kind of person that was very unhappy with her job.

"Okay," I said politely.

"It's that way," she instructed.

"I know. I've done it a few times before."

I reached for the door on the smaller office but was stopped by Joe. He grabbed it for me and held open. Then he followed me in and I glanced at him questioningly.

"Got to make sure my players make it through customs," he explained nonchalantly.

"I've done this before," I snapped. "I'll meet you back at the gate. Won't even get lost, I know where I'm going and everything."

Having someone search your bags and ask you stupid questions about where you're going are never fun, and more than that, it was embarrassing. I didn't want him to see me being interrogated, even if it was politely done.

"Sally's leading the other girls," Joe said. "I'm fine with you."

"Ms. Bhamra?" a kind woman in a blue blazer called for me. I smiled and followed her back to a cubical. "You've done this a few times, right? You look familiar," she asked politely.

"Yes, I attended Santa Clara University, so I've done this a fair number of times, I understand the process. Go ahead and start," I tried to sound polite, but it was a little annoying.

"Is that your boyfriend out there?" she asked, trying to make small talk as she rummaged through my suitcase.

"No," I said quickly. "Just my coach. I play professional football, I mean soccer, now."

"Well, you've got something good to look at while you practice," she remarked. "He's very good looking."

"Yes," I tried not to roll my eyes. "He is."

She finished searching my bags and then moved onto the long list of questions. It took about twenty minutes and then I went out to meet Joe.

I was shocked to see another customs agent searching through his bag and asking him the same questions. I waited for him at the door and then we walked out together. I didn't know what to say, so we just walked for a while.

"Why did they do that to you?" I blurted out. He turned and looked confused.

"You mean the secondary search?" he asked. "Terrorists come from Ireland, too. I've got a pretty common name and I'm sure somewhere there's a Joseph Sullivan who's been arrested a few times.

"Oh," I sighed. "It didn't even occur to me…"

"You look the part and I sound the part," he interrupted me. "Let's forget about it." I nodded and tried to think of some way to change the subject, but this had been the first time we'd said more than two words to each other in months.

"You know, its funny us traveling like this," he started.

"Why?"

"After you ditched me, I had this grand plan," he explained. "I was going to hop on a plane and come and get you. I'd apologize for all the jealousy, all the fighting, grovel if I had to."

I stopped walking and he walked a little past me, but came back, smiling. I wasn't smiling, I was speechless. My mouth must have been open because he pushed my chin up so that my mouth closed.

"Don't look so surprised," he shook his head, his smile fell a little, but not all the way. "You always act like I didn't love you, but I did. More than anything."

It made me want to cry. I spent all my time forgetting and burying the feelings, but he was bringing them back. It was wonderful and frustrating at the same time. I leaned in a little. I wanted to kiss him and hoped he'd meet me halfway. Instead he shook his head again, but this time there was no hint of a smile.

"That isn't good for our professional relationship," he said. "Let's go."

He started walking and I just stood there for a moment. The people in the airport passed with little regard for me standing there. I took deep breaths, pulled myself together, and followed him back to the gate.

We traveled by bus to the University and were greeted by my old coach. Coach Levi set us up in the dorms and told us about a tournament mixer the next evening. All the girls cooed and giggled, excited to meet American boys. I just wanted to take a shower.

Since there were fifteen of us, my former coach arranged for me to have my own room while others had to share. I dumped my things, showered, and laid down to take a nap. A knock at the door signaled I probably wouldn't get the nap.

Two familiar faces greeted me and I smiled. Samantha, my former team mate and Nina, a girl I'd met in an Asian studies class. These two had been my family away from home. They flew at me with hugs and squeals of glee. Samantha was tall and brunette with a pixie-like face, while Nina was small, with black hair and round Asian face.

"So, we passed this incredibly hot Irish guy and I told Samantha that had to be Joe," Nina blurted out. "It was wasn't it?"

These girls had been kept in the loop on all things since I'd left. Many emails had been sent to keep them abreast of the goings on. I sighed overdramatically and shook my head.

"What is it with everyone telling me how good looking he is, today?"

"What?" Samantha cut in. "Did Coach Levi mention it? I bet she'd love to get some coach on coach lovin'."

"Dirty!" Nina cried. "She's old, ugh. Have some taste, Sam."

I laughed. It was nice to be back and surrounded by friends. I didn't realize how isolated I'd been at home.

"We are _so_ skipping out early on the mixer," Sam told me. "There's a party over at Alec's and Ian has been bugging us to get you there. He still likes you, you know."

"Ian or Alec, because if Alec is looking, I'd be interested," I joked.

"No, Alec is still madly in love with his fiancé," Nina broke in. "But Ian is still head over heels for you."

"Yeah, but you know how I feel about him. He's just so pushy."

"Maybe we should invite Joe?" Nina suggested. Her smile widened as she spoke.

"Not a good idea," I told them. Then I relayed the story from the airport. They both took on a dreamy look as I finished.

"Nobody ever offered to fly over an ocean to come and get me," Samantha whined. "Can I date him?"

"No!" I said louder than I'd intended. Both girls started laughing at me. "What?"

"You're still in love with him," Samantha gasped through giggles. "Just admit it."

"I am," I said. They both stopped laughing and looked surprised. "There's nothing I can do about it. This career, playing football, it's more important."

"I love it when you call it football," Nina teased. "I just love your accent. I wish I spoke like you did. Say 'bloody hell,' wait, say 'schedule.'"

"Bloody hell," I repeated for her. "You lot are going to ruin my schedule. I wanted to nap. This jetlag is going to kill me."

"Your first game isn't until tomorrow morning," Samantha said. "You'll be fine. Of course, this could be my secret way to secure a win for my team. Keep you up, get you all messed up so you won't be able to lead your team to victory."

"Worried?" I asked with a smile. "Think my team will crush you?"

"You are playing for a professional team now," Nina answered. "Why wouldn't Sam be worried? Listen, what have you got to wear tomorrow night?"

e

"I brought a few things, but I suppose you want to go shopping?"

"You are getting paid to play soccer now, right?" Nina asked.

"Knock, knock," a male voice called from outside the door. Samantha got up to get the door. "Let me in," he said as he pushed past her. "There's some guy out there giving me dirty looks."

"Hi, Ian," the three of us said.

Ian was far taller than Joe. He was very built with shaggy blonde hair and brown eyes. He had the look of the all American surfer guy, except his thing was football, the American variety. Dating him while Joe was watching was tempting because he was the anti Joe. Tough, beefy, over confident, and not very bright, but he was nice- pushy, but nice.

He sat down on the bed beside me, "Did you miss me?"

"How could anyone miss you?" I joked. "You're huge."

"Very funny," Ian said sarcastically. He put his arm around my shoulders and laid his head on top of mine. "You know you missed me."

At that instant another knock at the door signaled the arrival of Joe. He knocked, but he didn't wait for the door to be answered, just let himself in. Then he glared at Ian.

"If you don't mind," Joe started. "My players need to get some rest before our first match in the morning."

I shrugged off Ian's arm. "It's not a big deal Joe," I told him calmly. "Ian was just leaving and so were we actually. Nina and Samantha wanted to do some shopping."

Nina and Samantha smiled, like the flirts they were, at Joe. Samantha held out her hand to him, "Samantha," she introduced herself. "This is Nina, that's Ian. You're the ex-boyfriend Joe right?"

Joe shook her hand but turned his evil eye on Ian as she mentioned ex-boyfriend.

"I'm her coach now," he said without taking his eyes off Ian. He was jealous, and I was enjoying it. "We've got some strict policies about men in the women's rooms. You might want to find somewhere else to spend your time."

"That's cool," Ian brushed it off and turned to me. "Some crazy rules, you're playing professionally, and this is what you put up with?"

I enjoyed Joe being jealous and kicking Ian out, but I didn't like Ian enough to torment Joe further by playing some crazy girl mind game so I just sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"What's a girl to do? Guess I'll see you later," I said as I shoved him politely out the door. Then I turned back to Joe. "You're a bloke as well, better remove yourself. I'm going shopping with my friends. I'll be back at a reasonable hour."

"That's fine," Joe said; his countenance instantly relaxed. "It was nice to meet you two, bring her back in one piece, can't have my captain out tomorrow."

After we left the room and Joe behind Nina started going on about the Joe versus Ian fight.

"He still loves you," she explained. "Why else would he care that Ian was there. You really have no rules about men do you?"

"Just that I'm not supposed to date my coach," I told her with a smile. "I thought he was going to go spare when he saw Ian in the first place."

"It's a fight I'd pay to see," Samantha cut in. "They are such polar opposites. Ian's size should give him the lead, but if Joe's not messing around, I think he'd kill him. Let's start taking bets."

"Oh, I bet we can use Alec's backyard!" Nina added. "Let's do it, tomorrow night at the party. I'm going to call Alec."

"No!" I grabbed her phone from her hand. "You can't do that, it's fun to talk about, but really, give it up."

Both girls looked put out, but soon their attention to purchasing new clothes.

How did I end up with these girls as friends? They were both very different from me, but we'd met my sophomore year and been friends ever since. They pulled my feminine side out and I balanced their insane need to do crazy things. I wasn't sure how they fared without me here.

We spent the evening shopping, and true to our promise to Joe I was in early so I could sleep off the jetlag. I woke in the morning ready for the first match. I wasn't nervous at all, it helped that we were playing my old team first.

It worked out that Sally and I were both team captains. She knew the ropes, but I was a bit better at getting results from the girls. We had the team warmed up in no time, and soon it was time to get started. The game was going well, with us in the lead, causing my old team to push a little harder.

During the last half the score was close and I was passed the ball. A new girl from my old team got a little overexcited and tackled me to the ground. She was immediately pulled from the game, but I didn't mind.

A former teammate helped me up with a smile and offered her apologies. The ref called for my penalty kick, but Joe called for a time out. I couldn't figure out why, but I went to meet him on the sideline.

"So, who's that Elmo fellow?" he asked.

This was about Ian? I started to see red. How was a girl supposed to play like this?

"I've got a penalty kick and you've called a timeout to discuss your jealousy issues?" I growled. Joe smiled nervously. "Bloody hell, his name is Ian and we dated briefly, may I go kick the ball now, Coach?" I asked incredulously.

"Thought you didn't have time for dating while you were here," Joe asked, this time with a bigger smile. He was jealous, but he was also enjoying teasing me.

"It was nothing serious," I said, trying to stay calm. "Now, if it's okay with you, I'm going to go, hopefully, bend the ball into the net, past my good friend Samantha. Cross your fingers," I said smartly while I crossed my own fingers.

Running back to the field I had to calm myself and clear my head. Joe made this so difficult. I hoped that he wasn't like this during all our matches.

We won the game and after I changed and showered I went to find Joe. He was chatting with another coach when I found him. He excused himself and turned his attention to me.

"You cannot do that again," I scolded. "If I have to spend an entire season worrying about your feelings, we are going to have a big problem."

"What did I do?" he asked nonchalantly. "That time out was needed to cool your head."

"All you did was heat my head up," I told him. "You're lucky I didn't miss the kick because you had me spun about."

"This isn't easy for me, you know?"

"What?" I ground out. "You're kidding right? You told me back in June that we could do this, work together, and we've had nothing but problems. You are making it harder on yourself."

"How's that?" he asked irritated.

"By kissing me, by not kissing me, all of that!" I dropped my voice so no one around us could hear. Joe grabbed my arm and pulled me quickly under a bleacher, out of the way of the crowd. I pulled my arm from his grasp and huffed, "What?"

"You think it's a good idea to have this conversation in front of every coach and player at this tournament? We're the professional team here; let's not give the university teams anything to talk about besides your football skills."

We stood staring at each other for a moment. My shoulders were heaving with anger but he was completely calm. That just made me more frustrated and I finally cracked. I started to cry from the stress of the last two days. My hands covered my face from embarrassment, and I felt Joe hesitantly put his hands on my shoulders. I didn't shrug him off this time. I was torn between wanting to run away and wanting him to hold me. Then I remembered the thing that had made me hate him more than anything previous. I tensed and he started to pull away.

Wiping my eyes, but keeping them on the ground I asked, "Why did you sleep with Jules and not me?"

"You don't really want to talk about that," he told me.

"Yes, I do," I shot back, frustrated.

"Did she tell you what happened?"

"Why not me?" I asked a bit desperately. It had been a sore spot while we dated and it burned to know that he slept with Jules on a whim.

"Jess," he sighed. He sounded sorry. "You were special…"

"Special like not as pretty, or not as sexy, or what?" I interrupted.

"It's not as if I didn't want to," he told me. "Believe me, I wanted to, still do, but, I just couldn't…" he hesitated and then started again. "I've dated a few girls and I even loved some of them, slept with a few of them as well, and you are too special for that."

"You're not making sense, just tell me why!" I demanded harshly.

"I didn't want you to regret it," Joe answered firmly. I tilted my head and looked at him skeptically. "You were not just another shag, and you certainly weren't someone to forget in the morning. I loved you, love you still, and if you had regretted it because of your upbringing or your parents or what not, I couldn't live with myself."

His shoulders slumped but he looked a little better for telling me, like a weight had been lifted. It dawned on me the pressure he must have been under. Joe had always been a little leery of my parents and their very traditional ways. Memories of me pressuring him about sex and the fights we had over it flooded my mind. I began to buckle under the weight of the guilt. Joe caught me and I fell into him and buried my face in his chest.

I ended our relationship years before but I always blamed him. Of course he was jealous of me going back to school! I seemed like a girl desperate to rid myself of my pesky virginity while he spent painstaking time trying to keep it intact.

Joe held me close and let me cry, he whispered unintelligible things into my hair, but soon asked, "Jess, what's the matter?" he had no idea why I was crying, but he comforted me still.

"It's my fault," I mumbled. "I blamed you and it's all my fault! You had every right to be jealous and I blamed you and I was the reason it didn't work out, I'm so sorry," I babbled on.

Joe started to laugh; he pulled me out of his chest so he could look at me.

"There's no way I come out of this completely blameless," he said with a smile. "We had plenty of fights that had nothing to do with that. I recall one being about how often you tried to call and I was unavailable. Drinking with my mates is not a reason to miss a transcontinental call from you."

I smiled and wiped tears from my eyes, "Well, now I feel much better," I said sarcastically. "What do we do now?"

"I've got to go check when our next match is and I'm sure your friends are looking for you. How did you end up with the girls most opposite of your personality?"

"Not what do we do this instant," I said. "I meant what do _we_ do," I gestured between us. "What about us?"

"Well, nothing for it, I suppose," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm going to go. You okay?"

"Yeah," I smiled awkwardly. "I'll see you later."

"Right, your friends invited me to some party after tonight's mixer, you don't mind if I go do you?"

"Nah," I answered nonchalantly.

Joe smiled and walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the love! Sorry it took so long but I've moved recently. The next chapter is done. It just needs to be beta'd. So it shouldn't be too long before the next one goes up. 

Chapter 4

After I composed myself enough to emerge from under the bleachers, I found Samantha and we went to Nina's to get ready for the mixer and, later for the party at Alec's. 

I didn't tell either of them what happened with Joe. They both noticed I looked a little worse for wear, but chocked it up to a game and jetlag. 

By the time we got to Nina's she was in makeover mode. "I'm going to straighten your hair," Nina declared. "You know, you should get your hair cut while you're here. Maybe a bob?"

"Oh, that would be great," Samantha said. "You should do it, Nina. You'd do a good job and she'd look great."

"My mum would go spare if I cut my hair," I told them. 

"But you're an adult," Samantha argued. "Isn't it time you acted like one? Be your own person and do something crazy."

"Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way," I said. "But it doesn't, she'll think I look like a boy. She'll go on about me not attracting any Indian boys and how I'll be an old maid and…"

"We get it," Nina interrupted. "I'll straighten your hair and Samantha I'll curl yours."

"Did you ever think to go to beauty school instead of college?" Samantha asked her. 

"Yeah," she said. "But my parents had other ideas. No good Korean girl should be a beautician or own a salon. I should be a lawyer or a doctor. It's the only thing acceptable to my parents. Anyway, let's get ready. We need to get to the mixer on time so you two don't look sleazy by ducking out early."

"Which one of you invited Joe?" I asked as Nina pulled the flat iron through my hair.

"Blame me," Samantha volunteered. "Where are the curlers, Nina?" Nina pointed to a basket on the bed. Samantha grabbed a curler and started rolling her hair. "You two should try the dating thing again. It's obvious he's still in love with you."

"Brilliant Sam, but you know we could both lose our jobs for that," I told her. 

"So do it in secret," Nina suggested. "Who's gonna know? You just have to be all stealthy and reserved."

"I don't know how anyone dating him in their spare time could be reserved," Sam mentioned. "He's fabulous." I rolled my eyes at her. "I think it's pretty safe to say I have a crush on your boyfriend."

"Joe is not my boyfriend," I said firmly.

"Not anymore," Sam smiled sweetly. "Can I have him?"

"No!" 

We made it to the mixer and I spent some time chatting with the girls from my team. I didn't want them to feel like I'd abandoned them to hang out with my old friends. Most of the girls were already part of a little clique anyways. I worried that on regular trips I'd be left out. 

I introduced Sally and Mackenzie to a couple of guys I knew on the men's team and both sides seemed pleased. Now Joe could blame me for distracting the team with men. 

"This is so lame," Samantha pulled me away from one of my teammates. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, we can go," I replied. "Just let me tell Sally I'm leaving."

"I already saw your Irish lovah and told him we were going," Samantha told me. "I also gave him directions on getting to the party. Let's jet set."

We found Nina and soon were heading into a far more lively party. It was at Alec's home, right off campus. It was fun walking in because, unlike the mixer, everyone at this party knew who I was. I was bombarded with hugs and warm greetings. 

Joe arrived shortly after we did, but started talking up some blonde from an economics class I'd taken. My mind spun as I recalled all the times I'd been jealous before. It aggravated me that I wasn't past it and it made me drink far more than I should have. Every time I looked over, he was talking to a different girl. 

I made a new drinking game of it, every new face he talked to, I drank again. Before long, things were fuzzy. While walking towards the kitchen, I stumbled, but strong arms lifted me before I could fall. 

I hoped that it was Joe that had caught me, but instead I was greeted by Ian. 

"Hey. You look trashed," he stated the obvious. 

"Yeah, well, it's a bloody party," I said harshly. "Isn't that the point?"

"Why don't you come with me?"

"I'm fine," I told him. The music seemed to be getting louder and my head was starting to pound. "I'm just going to go outside."

"Let me help you," Ian offered, grabbing my arm. 

"Just let me go," I slurred. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and made my way to the back door in the kitchen. 

Once outside I moved out of the crowd and threw up on the grass. When I was sure my stomach was empty I headed back towards the door. I needed to find Nina and Samantha and get back to my room and sleep this off. 

Walking with my head down, I tried not to bump into anyone. But someone bumped into me on purpose. 

"Ian, I don't need help!" I yelled before I looked up to see Joe standing in front of me. "Oh, hi." I said shyly. 

"Are you alright?" Joe asked while checking me for unknown injuries. "Where is that Ian bastard?"

"I dunno," I said confused. "Probably inside. I'm not hurt. Can you help me find Samantha and Nina? I need to go home." As I said this, he pulled me to him and hugged me close. I didn't get it. 

"We were worried," Joe started to explain. "Your friends lost you and I had them check upstairs while I checked every room downstairs. I was so scared that he was going to hurt you and it would be my fault. I should have found you the minute I walked in the bloody door," he babbled on, but I didn't really catch it. The house seemed to be dancing along to the techno beat the DJ played. 

"Joe, I need to sleep," I interrupted him. 

"Right," he said. We walked through the door and I was practically tackled by my two friends. But Joe held them at bay. "She says she fine, but she needs to sleep. I'm going to take her back."

"Joe, you don't have to leave," I said, trying to be nice. "These girls can take me home."

"I'm taking her back," Joe repeated to my friends, ignoring me. He pulled me closer to him and walked me out of the party and back to my room. 

When we made it back to my room Joe helped me to my bed and covered me up. He dug around in my bags and came back to place something on my nightstand. 

"Are you gonna throw up again?" he asked calmly. 

"No, there's nothing left in my stomach," I said. 

"Why'd you drink so much?"

"You talked to every blonde at that party," I blurted out. "Some of those girls were my friends and I promise you they are all what every bloke wants. I can't compete with any of them."

"_They_ can't compete with _you_," he said. "I didn't want to ruin your fun tonight. I know you didn't want me there. But I was worried about you, and a little jealous."

He sat down on the bed and I turned towards him. "How could I want to date another guy after what you told me this afternoon?"

"It's not as if we can give it a go again," he replied. "We'll both be sacked for that kind of stuff." He smiled and pushed my hair away from my face. He didn't move his hand and I was grateful for it. 

"Samantha, no wait, Nina suggested a secret relationship," I said before thinking. I covered my mouth as soon as I finished. "That's not what I want," I backpedaled. But the look on his face told me he knew I was lying. 

"I've got to go," he said abruptly. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need anything?"

"No," I said quietly. As he turned to go I changed my mind. "Can you stay for a while?"

Joe turned and shook his head, but agreed to stay. He came back and lay down behind me on the single bed. We hardly fit, but that just meant we were closer. He put his arms over mine and I fell asleep quickly. 

When I woke in the morning he was gone, but I looked over at the nightstand and noticed two aspirin, a bottle of water, and a note. 

_Sorry to leave you, but it wouldn't look good if anyone saw me coming out of your room this morning. Take the aspirin, drink the whole bottle of water and get a few more hours of sleep. The match is at 3. Try and be ready for it. _

_Joe_

Smiling to myself, I did as he suggested and was sleeping again in no time. 

"Mum," I tried not to sound hoarse. 

"Everything alright Jessie?" my mother asked concerned. 

"Yeah, just wanted to tell you everything is fine, I miss you."

"Are you sure you're okay? Are you getting sick?" she prodded.

"I'm not sick. I just wanted to check in," I tried to calm her fears. "I'll be glad to get back on the plane. It's been a roller coaster."

"Did you lose?" 

"No, but we've got a match today we might lose," I explained. "I've got to go, love you and tell Dad, too. See you when I get home."

A knock at the door startled me, but I was glad to see it was Nina. 

"How do you feel?" she asked cautiously. 

"I'm better, did something happen last night?" I asked. I didn't remember what Joe said when he found me and brought me home. He'd gone mental, but I couldn't remember why.

"Sam and I got worried because you were trashed and you were talking to Ian, and then we couldn't find you," she explained. "I'm sorry we lost you, we should have kept better track, but there was this guy and well, never mind." She smiled nervously. I smiled back to let her know I wasn't upset. "When we lost you we bumped into Joe and told him that we'd lost you and I told him that you thought Ian was pushy and well, he sort of exploded and ordered us to check the house for you and he went looking and we were all scared." 

"Nothing happened," I assured her. "I'm not upset with you. I wasn't really in a friendly mood last night. I drank too much, that isn't your fault." 

"I'm sorry," she said. "I was a horrible friend."

"Did Joe say something to you? Did he make you feel bad about losing me?" If that was the case I was going to smack him. 

"No," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "It's just you came back to visit and we missed you so much and you've got all this drama going on and I didn't even look out for you!"

I hugged her and smiled. "I missed you guys, too. I'm sorry you've had to put up with all my drama and I'll make it up to you."

"You don't need to do that," she brushed me off. "You're here to play soccer, not play with your friends. By the way, don't you have a game soon? You aren't too hung over to play are you?"

"No, I was just going to change," I told her. "Do you want to go eat after the match? We can find Sam and go get fish tacos."

"I've actually got a date," she said and her face turned a little pink.

"Who are you going out with?" 

"Um, well," she hesitated. 

"Out with it Nina," I urged. 

"Ian. You're not mad are you?" she asked quickly. 

"Not at all," I smiled. "That's brilliant. Where's he taking you?" I asked while changing into my uniform.

"I don't know yet," she said. We chatted for a while I got ready for the match, but then it was time to go. "I'll let you walk down to the game," Nina said. "I'm going to go find Sam and we should be there to cheer you on." 

"See you later."

As I grabbed my stuff I heard the commotion of my team heading out to the pitch. It seemed I wasn't the only one who had more than a little fun the night before. Most of the team looked awful. Our chances of winning looked slim. In the hallway Joe was knocking on doors and getting girls out. I passed him and smiled shyly. He hollered at the last of the girls and caught up to me. 

"Feeling better?" Joe asked. 

"Much," I answered. "But I think the whole team could have benefited from being dragged home early." 

"You're professionals," he said. "I shouldn't have to put all of you in bed. Besides, there are some girls I'd much rather put to bed than others." He winked at me and we held light conversation on the way to the pitch. 

Predictably, we lost the match. Being in the loser's bracket upset Joe, Sally, and I. Joe let us have it and then Sally and I scolded the girls after he was done. We had another match that evening and we sent the girls back to their rooms to sleep in hopes we could win the next one. 

"I'm going to sleep as well," Sally told me. "Thanks for introducing me to Jackson last night."

"He's a nice guy," I replied. "Did you have fun?"

"A little too much, of course, not as much as most of the girls," she lamented. "See you tonight."

I grabbed my bag and figured I'd get my fish tacos without Nina and Samantha. Passing through the crowds I smiled at the familiar faces and mumbled greetings to those who offered them. Almost outside the tournament area I started to walk a little faster, but was stopped short of the exit. 

"Jess!" Joe called from behind me. I turned and smiled wide, but immediately schooled myself into a more sedated smile. "Where you off to?"

"Just to get some food before the next match," I told him. 

"By yourself?" he asked concerned. "What about your mates?" 

"Sam's got a match and Nina's getting ready for a date," I explained. "Do you like fish tacos?" He was visibly surprised by my invitation. 

"Never had 'em," he told me. "But let's go. I'll buy."

"Alright," I said as we started walking again. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for the aspirin and the sleep."

"It was nothing," he brushed it off and smiled. "I should thank you for the excellent sleep I got."

"Hardly," I said. "The bed was so tiny. Is that why you left?"

"A big ruckus outside woke me," he explained. "Bunch of the girls coming in late. As soon as the noise died down I left. That was around five. It would have looked bad…"

"I know," I cut him off. I could think of better things to talk about than the two of us being friendly past professionalism. "Who are we playing this evening?"

"We won't know for a while, but it looks like your old team again," he said. "If the girls are rested better we can beat them again."

We walked in companionable silence for a while. When we made it to the stand I ordered for us, but he insisted on paying. 

"See, now it looks like we're on a date," I said as he sat down next to me at the picnic table. "Let me pay you for my food, it isn't as if you don't pay me well."

"Certainly I know how much you make," he said. "But still, let me. Hey, do your friends typically leave you to your own drinking at parties?"

"No, but about that," I started. "What happened exactly?"

Joe swallowed the bite of taco and sighed loudly. "They lost you, found me, and I sent out a search party."

Putting my taco down I replied, "It's not like I was in the Amazon, Joe."

"Well, they were worried, I was worried."

"What aren't you telling me?" I prodded. 

"Nothing," he answered firmly. "I was just afraid something had happened to you. You aren't the smartest drunk."

"Neither are you," I bit back. 

Joe started to laugh and I couldn't help but join him. We were in an absurd situation and I was picking a fight. We couldn't date, but here we were, doing just that. 

I scooped some guacamole off his plate with a spoon and popped it into my mouth. 

"First," he started. "Get your own, and second don't you want a crisp?" I shook my head with the spoon still in my mouth. "Guacamole off a spoon?"

"What? You don't like me now?"

"The straw that broke the camel's back," he teased. His knees bumped mine flirtatiously. "Let's do this."

"Do what?" 

"We can just do this," he repeated. "The team doesn't have to know."

"Conspiring to get us sacked?" I asked, skeptical.

"Nah," he shrugged. He turned to me and smiled. 

I remember the first time we kissed. It was perfect and rushed and eager. The second time, when I came home from school, was slow and full of yearning and promises of more to come. When Joe looked at me, I knew he was going to kiss me and it was one of the kisses I would catalog. 

This kiss was soft, familiar, and felt as if I was coming home. Damn, how I loved this man! 

When he pulled away I smiled while he played with strands of my hair. "What did you do to your hair last night anyway?" he asked. 

"Nina straightened it. Didn't you like it?" I asked concerned. 

"I did, but I like it better like this," Joe said as twisted another strand around his fingers. 

"It's all nasty from the match," I said. 

"Au naturale," he smiled. "We need to get back."

We won the match and ended up taking third in the tournament. It wasn't what I'd hoped for, but it was better than losing again. I spent the evening celebrating with my teammates and went to bed early. 

True to our discussion, Joe and I acted friendly, but not too friendly. None of the team seemed to notice and I began to seriously think about this new arrangement. It might work. I wanted it to work. 

I started to pack when I woke. We were due at the airport before lunch, so I didn't have much time. Nina and Sam stopped by to help, but that made the work go slower, but I was glad they came. 

As I packed, I told them about mine and Joe's new status. 

"I told you that would work," Nina said. "It's all sexy and romantic. Star crossed."

"We'll see if it works," I told them. "I'm still not so sure about it, I mean, I want it to work, but when I do stuff like this I usually get caught."

"You'll be fine," Samantha assured me. In the hallway I could hear Joe getting all the girls out and ready to go. "Sounds like your Irish lovah will be calling for you. Hugs and then off you go!"

As the three of us exited my room, I bumped into Joe. He pulled back and chuckled lightly. "Nice to have met you girls," he told my friends. 

Samantha and Nina smiled and shoved me off toward my teammates. "We need a minute with this guy," Sam told me. I shrugged at Joe and went to join Sally. I'd have to ask him what my friends needed later. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Beta'd by crazywriterchic. Mucho hugs to her because she's been super busy but took the time to help. She will very busy for a while, so if anyone would like to help with the beta-ing. Let me know.

Thanks for all gushing reviews. It's nice to know you guys love the story. For those of you who are graphically and vid talented, if you got time, send me a pm. I have some requests. ;)

Chapter 5

When we made it to the airport we didn't have long before it was time to get on the plane. A lot had happened over the trip and I was ready to go home. After the long flight everyone made it through customs with no problems and I was relieved for both Joe and I. At the luggage claim I began searching for Pinky, but I didn't see her.

Chivalrous as he was, Joe pulled bags off that belonged to the members of the team as the girls pointed them out. When all the girls had their bags and started to leave he brought mine over to me.

"Nobody coming to get you?" he asked in response to my constant searching of the area.

"Pinky's supposed to be here, she's probably just running late."

"Maybe she forgot," Joe suggested. "You want me to take you?" Just then Tony came running at me, dressed in his work kit and looking worried. He stopped short of Joe and me and took a moment to catch his breath. He looked worried.

"Pinky just called me," Tony said very fast. "She wanted me to take you to the hospital, but I can't find my manager, it's gonna take me a minute to find him and get permission and…"

Joe cut him off. "Why the hospital?" I was glad he asked because my mind had stopped processing his words.

"It's your dad, Jess," Tony said slowly.

"What do you mean?" I asked blankly. I felt numb and I didn't really want to know the answer.

"I don't know what's happened," Tony explained frantically. "But Pinky called and wanted me to get you, and I don't know if I can even go, but I'll take you and come back and then, I guess…"

"I'll take her," Joe interrupted again. "My car's here, I'll take her and then you can come when you get off."

"You don't mind?" I had come out of my stupor and was a little surprised that Joe would want to help. My family had hardly been his biggest supporters.

"No, come on," he said while grabbing both our bags and taking my hand. "We'll see you at the hospital, Tony."

Once in the car I began to worry out loud. "He could be dead…"

"He's not dead," Joe tried soothing. "If he were, Pinky would have come herself, or at least told Tony more than she did. It's probably something minor."

"He's always been so healthy," I said softly. I noticed Joe still held my hand. The only time he let go was when he put me and the bags in the car. I was thankful because it occurred to me that his hand tethered me to reality, instead of venturing off into my mind, where terrible outcomes could be thought up.

"Exactly why you shouldn't worry, he's healthy, it's nothing big." Joe took his eyes off the road to look me in the eye. "Your dad is fine and if it's something big, I'm here. I'm not leaving you."

"Oh!" I realized he was here with me and we left the airport together, him practically dragging me by the hand, very publicly. "Do you think anyone saw us? From the team I mean? Are you going to be sacked? Am I going to be?"

"Hey," he said calmly. "I would do this for any of my players, but you especially. If anyone saw, they would understand when I explained. Don't spend any time worrying about that, you just sit there and pray for your dad." Joe rubbed his thumb over my knuckle and pulled into the hospital.

When we dated he would always open the car door for me, I loved that about him, but today I couldn't wait for him to open it. As soon as the car came to a stop I bolted from the car and started running for the doors. I noticed he was behind me and was glad for it.

I reached the desk, ignoring the queue, and asked the receptionist where my father was. I heard Joe behind me trying to quell the angry people in queue. Once the woman told me where my father was, I was running again. Joe made it into the elevator right before the doors shut. I apologized, but he shook it off. He took my hand again and ran with me when the elevator doors opened.

We found Pinky and I hugged her tightly, but she was frozen a moment while I hugged her.

"What's he doing here? I called Tony," she said harshly, giving Joe a dirty look.

"Tony couldn't come, something about his manager, Joe had his car, he brought me," I explained. "Stop looking at him like that. What happened?"

She rolled her eyes and turned to Joe. "You can go now, this is a family matter." Joe looked like he might go, but looked to me.

"No!" I told her. "I need him here, tell me what happened to Dad."

Pinky sighed and finally turned her attention to me. "When he got dressed this morning, he had some numbness and pain, so Mum brought him in they did some tests. During one of the tests he had a stroke. He's been unconscious for about three hours." She paused giving me time to process, then continued, "Mum's in with him right now, but I can't get her to eat, says she won't eat the _goreh_ hospital food."

"I'll get some food," Joe offered. Pinky again rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't want just any food," she sniped.

"I know, I'll run by that place in the market, I know what to get," he replied calmly. "You'll be okay while I go?" he asked me.

"Yeah, thanks," I said. He kissed my forehead and ran to get the food. "Let's go in," I said to Pinky.

"Not before you tell me what happened in America," she growled. "Bloody Irishman slept with that stupid cow and now he's taking care of you, holding your hand. What the hell?"

"A lot happened," I answered. "I'll tell you about it later, I want to see Mum."

Pinky shook her head, but opened the door to the room where my mother and father were. It was dark but I could see Mum sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding Dad's hand and praying over him. I walked to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She turned and I saw the tears in her eyes. I embraced her and cried, too. It was one of those times where I wished I was still a child and a hug from my mother would fix everything that was wrong with the world.

"Jessminder," she pushed me back to look at me. "You're okay, the trip was fine?"

"It was great, Mum, but I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

"_Ba ba_, no need, everything will be fine," she told me. I knew she was trying to keep up a happy appearance for me. "The doctors say he will be up and about within the week. He just has to wake up first."

"Can I get you anything?" I asked. "Joe's gone to get food. Do you want some water or tea?"

"No, no," she brushed me off then caught up to what I'd said. "Joe, your coach, Joe's here? Why?"

"Tony couldn't bring me," I told her. "Joe was still at the airport with me, he brought me. You know how he likes Dad. He's worried, as well. We sent him to Nigel's restaurant to get food, he'll be back soon, I expect."

"He knows what to get?" she asked concerned. I assured her Joe would bring back the proper Indian food. The three of us sat for a while, speaking sparingly. My mum seemed to relax with my presence and Pinky also eased a bit. Teetu was home with her boys and Mum suggested she go home to them, but she refused. Soon enough, Joe was back with the food.

He came in quietly with the bags and started to set up the food on the table in the far end of the room. I could tell he was nervous and he tried to be discreet while getting everything ready. Surprisingly Pinky went to help him and didn't say anything rude; she even smiled and thanked him.

"Mum," I whispered. "Come on, let's eat some." She had been in a sort of trance and was shocked to see the food. She mumbled greetings to Joe, but sat at the table quickly.

"Thank you," she said to Joe and then turned back to me. We all sat around the table, Joe stood hesitantly, but I offered him a chair next to me and he sat. "This was nice of you, Joe."

"It's nothing Mrs. Bhamra," he said.

"No it wasn't, I appreciate all you've done for Jessie and our family today," she said. Apparently the food was causing her mood to lighten. She smiled and said to me, "You know Jessie, I always liked this boy, why did you break his heart?" Pinky and Joe both froze. I tilted my head and looked at my mother as if she was crazy. Maybe Dad being sick had caused her to lose her mind.

"No, you never liked Joe," I said smiling. I covered my mouth to hold in the giggles that were coming.

"Jessie!" my mother scolded. "That's rude, of course I like him."

My giggles started to come and then Pinky's as well. Joe sat smiling trying to contain himself. "Mum, you hated him, the whole time you knew him. You never once gave your blessing. You fed him, and you let him play cricket with Dad, you allowed him in the house, but you lectured me constantly." I said through my laughter. Joe chuckles finally escaped and my mother looked at him seriously. Poor Joe, he tried to stop laughing, but it wasn't working.

"It's true," Pinky joined in. "Mum, you never liked him. I think this might be the only time, ever, that you've said anything nice about him."

My mother shook her head and looked at Joe. "It's simply not true Joe, I've always liked you and don't you listen to my deceitful daughters. They don't know what they're talking about."

Suddenly nurses started rushing into the room. My mother stood abruptly and the rest of us followed. Pinky and I each took one of Mum's hands. Joe stood behind me, close enough that it felt like he was holding me up. We were all holding our breath, but the nurses didn't seem worried at all, in fact, they looked curious.

A nurse turned to my mother and asked, "What were you doing?"

"We were just eating," my mother replied defensively.

"He's awake, you woke him," the nurse said. My mother was so thrilled she flew across the room to check. Sure enough, my father blinked and groaned. He couldn't yet speak, but I let out the breath I'd been holding and smiled.

My mother began to speak to my father in Punjabi and Pinky and I walked over to give him a quick hug. Soon a doctor came in and explained that my father had a blood clot that would have to be removed via surgery the next morning. The doctor assured us it was a low risk surgery and insisted that everyone but my mother go home and rest.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" I asked Mum. "I'm going to bring back some things for you and Dad. But if you want Pinky or I to stay, we can."

"Your father and I will be fine," she told me. "Just bring our things and we will be fine. You're tired from your trip, you need to rest."

Pinky offered to drive me home, but Joe insisted on taking me. Pinky didn't give him any grief; she must have been softened by his help.

After getting Mum and Dad settled with all their things from home, Joe and I made it back to my house. This time I let him get my door. I was hoping he would come in with me, but was too nervous to ask. Letting him get the door seemed a good way to at least get him out of the car.

"Oh, let's not forget your suitcase," he said after opening my door. While standing at the trunk he asked, "Are you going to be okay, by yourself? It's been a hard day."

"I hate to keep you longer," I lied.

"It's nothing, if you don't want to be alone," he hesitated, "I could stay with you, if you wanted me to stay." I smiled and he seemed to loosen up. "I'll just grab my bag as well."

"Thank you."

As I entered my room I felt a bit of apprehension. The last time Joe and I had _slept_ together I'd been inebriated and we'd both been in our clothes. This time he was laying on my bed, in sleep clothes, talking on his cell phone. He smiled at me and ended his phone call as I made my way to my bed. I sat next to him and tried not to act awkwardly.

"Feel better?" Joe asked, sitting up.

"Yeah, on the phone canceling a date?" I asked, trying to be coy but failing.

He tensed slightly. "Nah, just," he took my hand. "My dad likes me to call him when I get back from transatlantic flights."

"Oh, of course." I felt guilty for teasing him now and it reminded me of my own father's mortality. "He's well?"

He nodded. "I, on the other hand, am beat." He fell back dramatically into my pillows and patted the spot next to him. "Jet lag and sitting in hospital all day must be catching up to you, as well."

I lay back uneasily with my thoughts still on my father. Joe noticed. He turned on his side to face me and touched my cheek. "Are you holding up?"

"Yeah, sure, I think," I answered, shyly. "It's just a lot. To come home after the trip, where so much happened between us and then, well that wasn't the welcome home I expected." Tears were gathering in my eyes and I was embarrassed. I hid my face with my hands but Joe pulled my hands away. He kissed each one of my palms and pulled me closer to him until I was crying into his chest, his arms around me tight.

Joe didn't say anything, just held me and let me cry. I fell asleep that way and dreamed.

_I was in my house but I was a child. My mother was scolding me in Punjabi. I tried to apologize but she just kept lecturing. I went to hug her and she vanished. _

_I heard my father in another room, so I went to him, but he didn't see me. When I tried to get his attention he vanished as well. _

_Pinky was hollering from upstairs. Even though I was a child, she was grown, as I knew her now. She held her youngest son as he cried. She yelled at me and then soothed her baby. I went to her, hoping she would forgive me for whatever it was I had done, but just as my mother and father before, she vanished as I reached her. _

_Then Joe was behind me and when I tried to talk to him, he started to yell. "Why aren't you warming up with the team? Jess, Jess!" _

I was startled awake and Joe held tighter to me. It was still dark and my dream had woken me and him. I was crying still and once I had calmed into his arms again, he reached over for a tissue for me.

"Bad dream?" Joe asked, handing me the tissue.

"I'm fine," I said while wiping my tears.

"It's okay to talk about it," he prodded.

"Let's go back to sleep," I said. Joe sighed, but agreed.

Hours later we were shocked awake by a loud voice. Joe held me tighter and tried to shield me from whatever might be coming.

"You two better be dressed," Pinky screamed from outside the door. I shook my head and Joe relaxed a little.

"It's just me Pinks," I hollered back.

"You think I'm stupid?" she responded. "I saw his car outside! You decent?"

"Yes," I yelled back as she stormed in. Joe looked sufficiently guilty and Pinky took that as an invitation to glare at the both of us. "It's not like anything happened. We're too jet lagged and tired to try anything."

"I don't care what you been doin'." Her face broke and she started laughing. "I was just winding you up. Get ready so we can get to the hospital."

Joe stood, grabbing his bag in preparation to head to the loo, but Pinky stopped him. "You and me, outside, now," she demanded.

"Pinky," I whined.

"I'm not gonna hurt him or nothing," she told me. "Just talk to him." This was the second time in as many days that someone had pulled Joe aside obviously to talk about me. It was getting irritating. "I've made some food, so come down fast so you can eat before we go."

I got dressed quickly and headed downstairs to eat and bug Pinky about what she'd said to Joe. "Out with it then, what d'you say to him?"

"What did the two of you do last night anyway?" she asked. "Bloody brave to have him stay here. What happened in America?"

"You first, what did you say to him?" I said while dishing food onto my plate.

"Just the regular stuff, 'you hurt her again, I'll kill you', nothing big innit?"

I shook my head and she repeated, "What happened in America?"

"We took third place," Joe said as he walked in. It surprised Pinky, but she recovered quickly. "Not the answer you wanted?" Joe asked with a smile.

"You two are mental," she said, shaking her head.

"Listen, I'm going to run by my flat and go check in at work," Joe told me buttering some toast. "You okay to go with your sister to the hospital? I shouldn't be long."

"She survived just fine without you for three years," Pinky muttered.

"Pinks, leave him be," I said. "You don't have to come." I didn't want to be needy, but I hoped he would come.

"I'll be by in a couple hours," he said, while wrapping his toast in a napkin. I smiled at him and he leaned over and kissed me chastely on the lips. "Laters Pinky," he teased in a perfect impersonation of her. I giggled and even Pinky smiled.

On the ride to the hospital, Pinky tried again. "What happened? Four months ago you were crying your eyes out on my doorstep, now it's kisses and slumber parties?"

"It was my fault," I finally said.

"What?" she asked shocked. "He sleeps with your best friend and it's your fault? Bloke's persuasive in'he?"

I relayed most of the heartbreaking conversation from under the bleachers; the funny thing was the smile on her face. "What's so funny?"

"Always thought you were a prude," Pinky said. I blushed and she laughed. "But if you're gonna make a big to do about Mum and Dad running your life, you ought to give him a second glance. You might think it's incredibly gallant and noble and all that for him to be protecting your virtue, but that just makes him one more person that knows what's best for you."

"That was hardly his intention," I argued, but she had a point.

"Something to ponder innit," she suggested. "Bringin' Indian food to the hospital doesn't make me forgive him," Pinky said. "Just not hate him so much."

My father's surgery went well. But it took the better part of the day. I had a good long time to think about what Pinky had said about Joe. He made it to the hospital about two hours after we did.

Tony came to the hospital, as well as a few friends of my father's. Everyone wanted to show their support. People brought food and set up a little party in the waiting room. The hospital probably wanted to kick us all out.

Dad woke in the evening and family went in first. Joe tried to hang back, but my mother surprised everyone by inviting him in. My father wasn't coherent enough to really know much of what was going on. But he smiled and thanked everyone who came.

Joe took me home, but this time I wasn't so nervous about asking him to stay. Of course, his stuff was still in my room, so I could always hold his toothbrush hostage.

As soon as I opened the door I flopped onto the couch. I was tired, but it was still early in the evening. The couch seemed a good place to rest for a moment.

"You've been sitting all day and you come home to sit?" Joe teased.

Rubbing my neck and snuggling into the cushions I replied, "If you think those waiting area chairs are comfortable, you're outta your mind." He sat down, pulled my back to him, and started to gently rub my shoulders.

"Don't you have a life to get back to?" I asked, concerned. "Surely, you've got mates that are missing you or maybe a woman?" I tried to sound like I was teasing, but I was really worried he did have things to get back to and I would be left in my parents empty house. I felt him kiss the base of my neck and then chuckle against it.

"There's really no place I'd rather be right now," he said while turning his attention back to my shoulders. He kneaded and I sighed as I relaxed. I let him massage my shoulders for while before I turned and kissed him.

I let myself be caught up in the feelings that I'd repressed for a long time. My mother's couch was hardly the place for a good bit of kissing, but my thoughts were more focused on the feel of his lips on mine and mine on his. It was refreshing and reminiscent at the same time. My heart seemed to swell in my chest.

As Joe kissed my neck, I pulled his shirt up and felt along his abs. For somebody that wasn't able to really play football anymore, he was certainly defined. I was enjoying the feel of his skin when he suddenly sat up and broke my trance.

"What are we doing exactly?" he asked, breathing heavy.

"Just havin' a snog, I thought," I answered, breathless, as well.

"Are we snogging or are you trying to seduce me?" Joe asked seriously.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" I replied, confused. "Most men don't have anything against their girlfriends seducing them."

"We are not having sex on your mother's bloody couch," he said firmly.

"Alright then," I said smiling. "I understand your disgust. You've got a bead mark," I brushed his forehead, "just there. We can move up to my room," I suggested, batting my eyelashes.

"No need for the move," he said defensively. "We aren't having sex tonight."

"Care to explain why not?" I said eyes narrowed at him. I remembered Pinky's sentiments about Joe making decisions for me and it made me angry.

"Jess," he tried to speak calmly, but it sounded patronizing to me. "Everything that has happened to you in the past week," he scooted closer to me and took my hands. I let him hold my hands, but I wasn't smiling. "I don't really think you're in a state to make any big decisions."

I pulled back my hands and stood up, shaking my head. I tried to take a few calming breathes, but instead started yelling, "Pinky was right. You're just like my Mum and Dad!"

"How's that?" he said, voice raised, but not yelling like me.

"You think you know what's best for me, you want to make this decision for me. 'No Jess, this isn't the right time for us to shag.'" I said in my sad impersonation of Joe. "Well guess what? I want to have sex. I've wanted to sleep with you for years. You think I can't make a good decision because my father's in the hospital? You think that us getting back together to pursue our incognito little relationship and the team getting third instead of first has affected my judgment on this issue?"

"That isn't how I intended it," Joe tried to placate. "I just think it might be better…"

"Well, then make it your fault," I interrupted. "You don't want to have sex with me? Fine. It's too soon, we just got back together, we could lose our jobs, whatever, but don't you dare make this decision for me! I make the choices in my life, not my parents, not Pinky, not you. The only time you get to sort me out is when I'm on your pitch, not when we're talking about shagging on my mother's God-awful couch."

I'd worked myself into a frenzy and I knew my face was red. I stood huffing and noticed Joe was in deep concentration.

"You want to sleep with me?" Joe started. "Wait a week, you still want to, and I'll shag you rotten."

I was taken aback. That wasn't what I expected. "Bit vulgar," I noted. "You talk to all the ladies that way?"

He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "I'm not trying to run your life Jess," he said apologetically. "Can't hardly run my own, as we can see from the situation I'm in now. We could both lose our jobs over this _thing_ we're doing."

I sat down next to him and shook my head. "I can run my own life," I whispered while staring at the floor. "You can't decide for me."

"Hey," Joe said. "Let's just go with I'm not ready, I'm still worried you'll regret it, and that scares me. Blame it all on me," he paused and waited for me to say something. When I didn't reply he continued, "I think I'd better go. I'll see you at practice tomorrow." He kissed the top of my head and went upstairs to gather his bag.

I didn't say anything else to him, just let him leave. I was still perturbed about the fight. His excuses seemed kosher, but I was still irritated.

I avoided Joe at practice for the next week. No matter what he'd said, I still felt like he was trying to tell me what to do. Of course, at practice, he _was_ telling me what to do. Just one more reason to avoid him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Okay, so new beta this round. Thanks to Gatorgrrrl for the incredibly efficient and speedy beta. I think she wants this story to move a bit faster. ;)

You guys are in for a doozy this time around. I feel like this is one of my sillier chapters. Two awkward blind dates, a football match and lesbians…this is gonna be fun. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

My dad came home at the end of the week and Pinky let me in on some thrilling news that afternoon, while we unpacked Dad's things.

"What were you thinking?" I whined.

"He's cute," she argued. "He's bright and modern and he's got a bit of money."

"What about Joe? Or do you care?"

"You could lose your job dating him," she reminded me. Damn her and her good points. "Haven't seen him 'round here in a week, anyway, you two fighting?" she asked, trying to be casual.

"It's none of your business," I said flippantly. "I'll go on this stupid date, but I better get dinner out of it."

The date was pathetic. He started off by not actually asking anything about me. He talked for the entire car ride about himself. I could kill Pinky. This guy was a waste of an evening.

When we made it to the pub, he ordered a drink for himself, then realized I was there and offered me one. After the drinks were served he sat silently watching the cricket match on the big screen. I tried to talk to him, but he ignored me in favor of the game. After a particularly excellent play, he jumped up and hollered and ended up two tables in front of me with some blokes talking about the coach's bad choice of plays.

So, I figured I would finish my drink and leave. A solid plan until an Irish voice broke through my boredom.

"A pint by yourself?" he teased. "We should really talk about alcoholism, love."

"Shut up," I said, harshly. I wasn't in the mood to be mocked. "The Irishman is talking about alcoholism. Ironic?" Joe laughed heartily. I rolled my eyes. "I'm on a date, Pinky set me up." That ought to stop his mockery.

Joe didn't flinch at my date remark, but he did laugh again. Not my desired result. "Where's the fella? Scared him off, have you?"

"He's over there." I pointed towards the telly.

"Watching cricket?" he asked and I nodded. "Doesn't he know the way to your heart is the football match?"

"He'd know if he bothered to ask me," I explained. "Hasn't said a thing that doesn't involve how brilliant he is." I gulped down more of my drink.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Figured he bought the pint," I said. "Might as well finish it."

"Come with me," Joe said with a mischievous smile.

"Where?" I asked skeptically.

"Have you eaten?"

"No, I thought I was getting dinner out of this deal," I told him.

"Let's go get supper then." He offered me his hand. I hesitated for a moment. Turning to see that my date was still embroiled in the game, I gave Joe a half smile and took his hand.

"Alright then," I said. "But remember, I'm still mad at you."

"What for?" he asked still smiling. "The way I see it, I should be surly with you. I thought we were dating exclusively. Little did I know, you've got Pinky sending you out to find an Indian husband." I noticed he wasn't angry; he was teasing.

"You aren't jealous?" I asked perplexed. This sort of thing used to drive him crazy.

"It wasn't as if you were enjoying yourself," he noted as he pulled me out of the pub. "Maybe if you'd been flirting and using feminine wiles I would have been upset, but you were drinking alone, Pinky has terrible taste."

We walked along the cold street for a while. He put my hand in his pocket and kept smiling at me.

"What?" I asked a little perturbed.

"You've been avoiding me all week," he said.

"I've been busy. My dad came home yesterday and I've been helping."

"I see you everyday, but not even a smile for me?" He rubbed my knuckles with his thumb and looked sullen. "Did you tell Pinky we had a fight or did she make a date without telling you?"

"She didn't tell me until this afternoon," I admitted. "But she did notice you hadn't been around this week. She also reminded me we could lose our jobs for our little affair."

"I haven't really figured out a way around that," he said, frustrated. He straightened up quickly, though, and asked with a smile, "What shall we eat, love?"

We settled on pizza, but when we got to the place, they were closing down.

"We can get something else," I suggested, but Joe was having none of it.

"Can you make just one more pie and let us take it home?" he begged the old woman who ran the restaurant. He smiled the smile that had any woman eating out of his hand. Within minutes we had a pizza ready to go. "Can I trust you not to get all hot and randy if we eat this at my flat?"

I blushed at his teasing tone, but I knew he was hoping this wouldn't ruin our calm reunion. "I'll try to keep my trousers on," I tried to sound confident, but I came off sounding embarrassed. "Hey, wait, it's been a week. What about the big plans to, how did you put it? Oh, yes, 'shag me rotten'?"

Joe quirked an eyebrow and smiled. "I did make that promise. Do you intend to call my bluff this evening?"

"Well, I'm pretty tired from practice and then helping my Dad settle in at home. Plus that terrible date Pinky set up, wait, did you plan all this?"

"Can't say I did. Well, except the rough practice. that part I did plan," he said as he opened the door to his flat. He motioned for me to go inside and I found that the décor had not changed since I'd been here years before. I ran my fingers over a framed photo of the team the year we first met.

I heard Joe behind me, setting plates and glasses on the table. Moving along the shelf I noticed the framed picture of him, his father, and me, taken the first Christmas we dated. I'd given it to him as a gift that Christmas.

"D'you entertain many ladies here?" I asked.

"Just you," he smiled. "What makes you ask?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you had a girlfriend," I replied.

"What d'you mean?" he asked and then noticed where I was standing. "Oh, that." He smiled sheepishly. "You'd better steer clear of the bedroom, then. That's where the shrine is."

"You're joking right?" I scoffed.

"No, I pulled all the articles from Santa Clara's newspaper off the Internet and printed out most of your last two seasons," he admitted. "You were quite the star player and I told myself it was all scouting work to get you back on my team."

"So, you had some master plan to get me back on the team so you could convince me to have a go at a relationship again?" I asked cautiously.

Joe laughed and shook his head. "No, I really thought I could work with you," - he inched closer to me and placed a hand on my cheek - "without, you know, going mental trying not to kiss you." He leaned in and brushed my lips softly. "Got ourselves in a bit over our heads, didn't we?" I agreed and Joe, for the second time that evening, changed the subject. "Pizza's gettin' cold. Can I show you to our finest table, Madame?"

"Why, yes," I said, preening. "That would be lovely. Last time I dined here I had to eat right next to the kitchen. Do you have anything better?"

"Just for you," he said, winking, "that table has moved to suit your needs better." We bantered through our food and were just about to decide on a movie when my phone rang.

"Where ya been? You ditched your date!" Pinky screamed through the phone. I pulled the phone away from my ear while she yelled and Joe tried not to laugh.

"Pink," I said calmly when the rant had slowed, "he ditched me for a cricket match on the telly. He didn't even notice I'd gone. What kind of a date is that?"

"Cricket match?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"What kind of a tosser does that?" she asked. "I specifically told him you played football. Didn't listen, did he?"

"No."

"Where are you now?" Pinky asked, confused.

"Oh, I'm, uh, just, uh, out…" I wasn't sure how much information I wanted to give her.

"Ran into Joe, did ya?"

"Yeah," I admitted.

"It's getting late. Mum's gonna wonder where you are. Better go home," she warned.

"Alright, bye."

As I hung up the phone, I noticed Joe clearing the table. "Home you go, love. I just got on your mum's good side and I'd like to stay there."

I sighed and gathered my bag from his couch. Joe drove me home, but like a nervous teenager I had him drop me off a block from the house. I didn't need my mother knowing where I was.

As I walked the block home I tried not to let my mind dwell on the fact that he'd called me 'love' three times over the course of the evening. We were falling back into old habits.

The whole week I tried to be upset with him. By the time he offered to help me escape from my date, I was happy to see him. If I was truthful with myself, I missed him all week. It was like there was some kind of pull between us and it wasn't worth fighting. I had resisted it while at university, but it wasn't practical for me to put an ocean between us so that we could work professionally.

This liaison was not the smartest idea. When I did things secretly I tended to get caught. I wasn't too worried about my parents, they accepted Joe once, I was sure they would do it again. But I was really starting to enjoy playing with the team and I knew that Joe valued his position. He was right. We had gotten in way over our heads.

I thought about breaking it off, again, but the draw between us was just too strong. We both tried to be professional and it wasn't working. We'd get caught and found out. And lose our positions. Or maybe we'd break up again and I would be in such a strop I couldn't work with him or he with me. The scenarios were many and they all ended with us being unemployed and not doing the things we loved. This was going to end badly. There seemed no way around it.

* * *

When our first match of the season rolled around I was more than excited for it, I was giddy. My father was well enough to attend and my mother was going to come. She had never seen me play, so I was a tad nervous. Teetu had agreed to talk Pinky and my Mum through the rules and any questions they had during the game.

After Joe's pep talk in the changing room, the girls filed out to start warming up but Joe grabbed my arm. Pulling me back into the changing room he captured my lips and kissed me thoroughly. I enjoyed it for a second before my mind caught up to where we were. I pushed him back and huffed.

"What?" Joe asked with mischievous smile. "I wanted to wish you luck. It's your first game."

"You trying to get us sacked?" I accused, "Because it's a perfect way to lose our jobs."

"Better get out there, then." He didn't seem worried at all, "Go warm up." He smacked my bum as I walked away.

"That's got to stop," I whispered loudly, but I couldn't help a little smile as I ran to catch up before my teammates noticed I was missing, especially the ones with crushes on our fearless leader. Showoff Liz was not a fan of mine and I certainly didn't need her suspicions raised.

We won the match, but it wasn't a picnic. Our two teams were evenly matched and I could tell that when we met again, it was going to be bloody. This team would hold a grudge and work to beat us. I recognized a player from my first summer with the Harriers and I was not keen on getting close to her again.

During the tournament that first year this girl and I had an altercation. One where she'd gotten me booted from the game. I don't normally have a temper and it's the only time I've ever been ejected from a game, but she pulled on my shirt, then called me a "Paki." Of course, I was going to push back.

Joe noticed she was on this team, as well, because during the first timeout he asked me to keep clear of her. He didn't want to see me in a fight or thrown out again, I supposed.

After the match I found my parents and Pinky and gave everyone hugs. Except Pinky who wanted to be as far from me and my sweat as possible.

"Jessie, you go change and then we'll go home and eat," my mother said. "It was so exciting to watch you play, it worked up my appetite."

As I walked toward the changing room I heard my father call Joe over. I hoped none of the girls saw that. I tried to act aloof when around Joe and the team; I didn't need people putting two and two together.

Liz and her follower, Jillian, were in front of me and I heard them gossiping. "Her family seemed awful chatty with him. I even heard a dinner invitation go his way. Seems something is up there."

"I wonder how much work it would take to get Jess sacked," Liz asked and I cringed.

This was the very thing that I feared. I hung back. I didn't want them to know I'd heard and I certainly didn't want to be in the changing room with them. I looked around for something to stall my time, but I couldn't find anything, so I proceeded into the room.

"Jess!" Sally squealed and high-fived me. "Great game, yeah?"

"Yeah, let's make it not so close next time," I said, smiling.

"Oh, you've got to relax a bit. Always work with you, innit?" Mackenzie chimed in. "We've got to get you out for some fun next week while we're in Spain."

"Wait, Spain is next week?" I asked excitedly. I'd forgotten the trip was so soon. It was one I was really looking forward to. "Do you think we'll have time to see anything?"

"Who cares, as long as we go out after the game? Best part of traveling don't you think?" another girl interjected.

* * *

"Jess, you were brilliant!" Pinky said. We'd come home and Mum, Pinky, and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner. "Didn't you think she was brilliant, Mum?"

"It was exciting," Mum said. "But must you wear shorts? It's cold this time of year. I must talk to Joe about winter uniforms."

"Mum," I said, shaking my head. "We get hot running about. I hardly noticed it was cold. The shorts are fine."

"You say that now, but when you come down with pneumonia, I won't cook for you."

"Leave it be," Pinky told Mum. "Why'd you invite her coach anyway?"

"He's looking skinny," my mother said. "If his mother were around, she'd want to feed him. Besides, your father does love to talk with him about silly games."

"You mean cricket?" I asked her, smiling.

"Right. Jessie, come stir this," my mother directed.

"Why've I got to stir it? Pinky's better at it, I'll just burn it," I whined.

"Pinky must get her boys ready to eat," my mother scolded. "When you have children, you won't have to stir the chicken."

I rolled my eyes and hoped my mother didn't decide this was a good time to discuss my Indian husband prospects. As far as my parents were concerned Joe was my coach and a good friend, but nothing more. I was okay with that. I didn't need my mother lecturing me about dating a _goreh_ or my father's discussions about losing my job for fraternization.

The doorbell rang and my mother left the kitchen to answer it. As she left, Joe came in glancing about for onlookers.

"Don't you look domestic," he teased me as he leaned against the counter next to me.

"I'm going to burn this chicken, I always do."

"I'll eat it anyway," he said sweetly. "Who else is coming?"

"I think just Tony," I replied while concentrating on the chicken I was pushing around the large pan.

"He's already here. Your mum didn't invite any relatives, did she? If I have to speak kindly to that cousin of yours with the beard I'm calling it an evening early."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I didn't want to say anything since I still feared I'd ruin the chicken.

My mother walked in with an overly large smile on her face, her grin made me uneasy. I soon found my instincts were correct. She had invited a girl from Heathrow that my father worked with. She was Irish and single and my mother felt this was the perfect girl for Joe.

I didn't just burn the chicken, I ended up stirring so fast that most of the sauce sloshed out of the pan and started a small fire on the stove. My mother quickly put the fire out and scolded me in Punjabi while suggesting to Joe that he head into the dining room to meet his new soul mate.

I took a few cleansing breaths before also venturing into the dining room. What I saw worried me more than my mother's assertions that this girl, Renee, was perfect for Joe. She was tall, blonde, and skinny as a rail, quite beautiful except for her thin lips that were covered in the most awful shade of red. She smiled coyly while shaking Joe's hand and I wanted to vomit.

Joe did his best to be kind, but not too charming, for which I was grateful. He was just as uncomfortable with this idea as I was.

When sitting down at the table Joe pulled Renee's chair out, but then moved around the table and pulled mine out as well. He then sat next to me, directly across from her. My father sat at the head of the table and Teetu sat at the opposite end, with Pinky next to Renee and my mother next to my father. I was sandwiched between Tony and Joe, which was fine. I didn't need to be near the crazy red lipped _goreh_.

My parents chattered on about the lovely weather and my football game. My mother gushed about my playing and Joe's marvelous coaching. Renee smiled and added comments now and then, but I could tell she was bored with talk of sport.

"Where in Ireland do you hail from, Joe?" she asked politely.

"I come from Dublin by way of County Cork," he said while wiping his mouth. She smiled and began to explain her journey to Hounslow. She smiled again at the both of us and Joe put his hand on my knee discreetly.

I didn't hear a word she said because I was plotting ways to get her out of my parent's house quickly. If I spilled a drink on her she would probably exit promptly. Maybe when we had drinks after dinner I could accidentally bump into her. I was pulled out of my scheming by Renee smiling widely at me as if she had just asked a question that I was supposed to answer.

"I'm sorry, I…uh…" I stammered trying to figure out what was going on.

"Surely you would love to show Renee how to bend a ball…" Joe said, rescuing me, a wicked grin on his face.

"Right, of course, any time you'd like."

"That would be lovely," Renee again turned her thin lipped wide smile on me. Joe squeezed my knee gently and turned to my father to discuss the latest cricket match. I looked to Tony and he snickered. As I thought back on the dinner, I realized he'd done it a few times.

I put my face close to his ear and whispered, "What exactly is funny about this awkward party?"

He chuckled again and then my mother cut in, "Are you two flirting down there?"

Tony and I both couldn't help but break into belly laughs at that. My mother, of course, didn't know about Tony's preferred orientation and we couldn't contain our laughter at her expense. Joe was smiling as if my mum had said the funniest thing ever and oddly enough, Renee also laughed hysterically. That part puzzled me until I felt a female foot rub my ankle. My chuckles turned into a cough as I pushed back in my chair to get away from the odd female appendage.

Worried about my behavior, Joe offered me some water and began to rub my back. All conversation at the table had halted with my little show and I glanced about embarrassed. Renee looked as worried as Joe and even got up and moved round the table to try to assist in tending to my needs. When she came near me, I leapt from my chair and moved toward the kitchen. I probably looked like a scared animal, but Tony looked as if he might die from the hilarity of it all. It now dawned on me that he probably knew Renee from work and knew of her preferences.

"Jessie, what has gotten into you?" my mother asked in a voice that was a mixture between concern and annoyance at my rude behavior.

"Just, um, not feeling well," I tried to sound convincing, but I'm sure I failed miserably.

"You've had a long day," Pinky cut in. "Maybe you should turn in."

"No!" I yelled. "I'm, I'm…"

"How about some air?" Joe offered.

"Yes, air! Tony, come with Joe and I for some air." I grabbed both Joe and Tony's hands and rushed out the backdoor before my parents or Pinky could stop me. As soon as we were outside and the door was shut tightly, I turned to Tony and began to screech, "You knew! You knew from the start, didn't you?"

"Um, what happened?" Joe asked, perplexed.

"She, she…" Tony tried to explain, but just bent over and tried to catch his breath. I stood flabbergasted, unable to explain to my secret boyfriend that the woman my mother had set him up with had been trying her luck with me, under the table.

"What did Renee say? Did I miss something?"

"She rubbed my ankle with her foot!" I whispered harshly, as if whispering would make it less offensive. Joe stood for a moment, blank-faced, then joined Tony in his laughing fit. I covered my face with my hands. "Will you two sort yourselves out? I don't need you making a scene as well. I did a pretty good job of that in the house."

Tony recovered first and suddenly looked sternly at me. "You don't have a problem with her, do you? I mean, with her choices?"

"I have no problem with her lifestyle choices, as long as they are not directed at me!" I noticed Joe had started to calm, but with my declaration he fell again into the chuckles.

"Love," he said when he'd gotten his manly giggles under control. "To us, there is no way you'd be mistaken as a lesbian, but you do like football, a lot. Surely she just assumed you were…"

"Stop!" I put my hands over my ears. "I have no problem with her orientation but I need her to know that I am not interested."

"Tony, can you go in and bring her out here?" Joe asked him as soon as he too, had recovered.

"Yeah, you got a plan?" he said with a stupid grin on his face. He was thoroughly enjoying this little misunderstanding.

"You just bring her back here, without anyone else, just the two of you. I don't need to start another kafuffle."

As Tony made his way back in the house Joe turned back to me. He pulled me to him but I didn't return his embrace.

"Stop pouting and kiss me," he said lightly.

"What's your grand plan?" I asked with my face still screwed up.

"I told you, stop whinging and kiss me. That's my plan. She'll get the point, don't you think?"

"I suppose," I said, still a little put out by the experience.

He lifted my chin and gently pressed his lips to mine. At first I didn't respond much, but the more he persisted in slow pecks the more I wanted to taste his lips fully. I didn't even notice Tony bringing Renee back, but he later relayed to Joe and I that she was embarrassed and excused herself quickly after they had found us. I felt bad for that and asked Tony to apologize to her when he saw her next.

My mother seemed disappointed when Joe told her later that Renee had preferred a different kind of person. But she took it at face value and by the time I walked Joe out he was sure my mother would have him married off before she had me married.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

So, my mom broke her leg (like her foot was facing the wrong direction!) and so I've been taking care of her and my small child. I apologize for the agonizing wait…okay, some of you felt it was agonizing. Anyhoo, beta'd by gatorgrrrl even tho she went to Chicago, so much love to her! I'm still looking for someone who can make fan vids. I thought a little tribute video would be fun for this. Enjoy!

**Chapter 7**

"You look excited," Joe said.

Most of the other girls were sleeping, a few were reading; I, coincidentally, was seated behind all of them, as was Joe. His seat was actually behind mine, I imagined he had something to do with our seating arrangements. We were close, but inconspicuous.

I glanced back at him and smiled. "I've never been to Spain. I'm hoping we get to see a bit of it before we have to play."

"You and the sightseeing." He shook his head. "You know we are going to play a match, not to be tourists, right?"

"I know, but the architecture, the beach, the food," I said, smiling dreamily. "I'm just so excited." I reclined my seat so I could see him better. "Have you ever been?"

"I have, I'm not nearly as thrilled as you."

"Why? Is it dirty? Or is it the noise? I've heard its mental, people partying into the night and --" Joe cut me off.

"It's allergies."

"Huh?"

"I'm allergic to the whole country I think," he said, putting his pointer on his nose. "Me nose can't stand the flowers."

"It's November, Joe. There aren't any flowers. Everything is dead," I explained.

"Here's hoping I don't spend the entire trip in my room with a box of tissue and a humidifier."

"You're winding me up," I said, skeptical of his condition.

"Not at all," he said, as an announcement about the plane landing came over the loud speaker. "Just wait and see. No boyfriend to see the sights with you, just a bloke in a room with red eyes and a bloody disgusting nose."

"It's not as if you can be my boyfriend on a football outing," I whispered while shaking my head. "We'll be found out."

I sighed and started to pull my seat up. He stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw the apology in his eyes. It seemed every time we talked in the past week, our awkward situation would come up and neither of us had a solution.

"I'm fine and you need to buckle your belt. We're going to land soon," I said with a meek smile.

* * *

"I've got the room assignments," Joe said while handing Sally and I a bunch of labeled keys. "Sally and Mackie: room 103, Harper and Mimi: room 104, Trina and Christine: 105, Liz and Jillian…"

As he called out the assignments we went about giving everyone their keys. Thankfully, I didn't have to go near Liz and Jillian. Since the last match they had done nothing but glare at me. I could imagine them plotting my demise, but pushed it back in my mind. They were young and I was secure with my football skills, just not with my private love life.

"And Jess," Joe had called out all the assignments but mine. "You should have been Charlotte's bunk mate, but since she's sick, you get your own room. Room 201."

The grumblings of some of the players erupted.

"Sally," I turned to her. "If you'd like to take it, I can room with Mackenzie."

"Not at all!" Sally said animatedly. "Mackie and I are having a slumber party where we get sloshed. You're certainly welcome to join us, but I don't want my own room."

"Hey, wild things," Joe interjected. "No gettin' pissed 'til after the match." He would have sounded more intimidating had he not been holding his nose through most of the scolding.

"Yes coach," the girls all droned.

"Jolly. Now off to your rooms, then I hear there is some sightseeing to be done. Enjoy yourselves. Be back by four so you can eat as a team in the dining room."

Most of the team bolted instantly. I started toward my room, but glanced back nonchalantly to see Liz trying to convince Joe to sightsee with her. I smiled slightly then turned back to find my room.

Just as I deduced that Joe had purposely sat behind me on the plane, it seemed we shared a wall in the hotel as well. The team happened to be located on the first floor, while our rooms, conveniently enough, were located on the second floor. I found this out because once inside the room I saw an extra door that joined the two rooms. I thought nothing of it until there was a knock on that extra door.

I cautiously approached the door and then looked around as if someone might see me opening this extra door. Slowly I opened the door just a crack and poked my head around it.

"Just me," said a pleasant Irish voice. I instantly relaxed and opened the door.

"You're dead set on us being fired, aren't you?"

"No." He smiled as he leaned against the door frame. "I'm not much of a boyfriend at the moment."

I stepped back and sat on one of the beds. "You're not likely to be up for sightseeing, but that's fine. I'll go with Sally and Mackie."

"That's brilliant, keep an eye on their alcohol consumption. I'd like to win," he said. "But I'd prefer if you didn't go with them after the game." He was still smiling but I instantly remembered Pinky's theory of him being like my parents.

"Because you're my Mum and you can tell me what to do?" I asked curtly.

His face quickly changed from smiling to a frown. "No, no," he started. "I'm not trying to direct your life," he moved to kneel down on the floor in front of me and took my hands. "This is just me playing jealous boyfriend. I would rather you be here, with me. We could watch a film or something. But you make your own decisions. You are more than free to go out with them."

I sighed and realized I might be a bit sensitive. Surely he wasn't trying to run my life?

"I'm sorry," I said. "What shall we watch tonight, then?"

"You want to do voiceovers to Spanish TV?" he said standing up and smiling.

I was about to ask him to explain that idea when we were startled by a knock at his door.

"Answer it. I've got to get my stuff to go play chaperone to Sally and the girls," I said. He kissed me quickly on the cheek and headed back through our adjoining door.

I followed him and pushed the door closed, but it didn't stay closed. I started to close it again, but I heard a female voice address Joe. I thought it might be a member of the team and I leaned in close to the cracked door to eavesdrop.

"-saw you in the lobby with your girls. Playing Las Rozas as well?" The voice sounded raspy, like the woman had spent years smoking.

"Yeah, is that all you wanted to know?" Joe said quickly.

"Aren't you going to invite me in, Joey?" the woman asked.

"Please don't call me Joey, and no, I'm going to rest before the match tonight, I'll see you later." I heard the door shut, then another knock, and he opened the door again.

"I could rest with you."

My stomach felt like it was in my feet and my heart started to pound. This woman was propositioning him and though he was rejecting her, I sensed he hadn't always rejected her. This was an old girlfriend or fling or something! I slammed the adjoining door, grabbed my bag and coat, and headed for my door. I almost marched out of it, until I remembered that his door was no more than five feet from my own and the woman at his door would see me.

I stood huffing at my front door then leaned my head against it and banged my head gently. Soon, a knock came at the adjoining door. I took that to mean the woman had gone, so I opened the outside door and started down the hall. Joe didn't let me get far. He must have known I wanted to escape the room because almost immediately he was on my heels, pulling my arm to stop me from advancing.

"What was that all about? Slamming the door like that, you could have really gotten us in the shit!" he whispered harshly.

I stood dumbfounded for a moment before I found my voice. "You're mad at me? You can't be serious! There's a woman at your door flirting and offering to warm your bed and you're mad at me?"

"It's not as if I wanted her. She's a slag and I tossed her out. How do you suppose I'm at fault?" he said shortly.

"You slept with her once, didn't you?" I shot back.

"What do you care if I shagged her before? You left me three years ago. You were an ocean away! Was I supposed to be a saint waiting for the day you'd grace me with your presence again?"

"You shouldn't have slept with Jules!" I said louder than I intended. I covered my mouth immediately and glanced around the hall to make sure we hadn't alerted every guest on the floor to our argument. Joe looked around, too, then glared back at me.

"I'm never going to be forgiven for that, am I? You can't move past a night when I met an old friend and had some of the most awkward sex of my life." He shook his head, but I was dwelling on the bad sex part.

"What was that?" I asked, perplexed.

"Yes, you heard me right," he answered. "It was awful sex and it was even more uncomfortable after. The only time we've had any contact since then was the email I sent to let her know that you knew about the incident."

"So it was bad?"

"Isn't that what I just said?" Joe sighed. "Let's go back in; I don't need anyone to hear us arguing."

"Go ahead. Take something for your allergies. I've got to go police the rest of your players," I said, walking away from him.

Joe didn't come after me, so he must have felt guilty for something.

I tried to enjoy my sightseeing, but ended up in a strop. I was upset about the woman, upset about Joe and Jules, and generally upset about our predicament.

My mood affected my game and for the first time in three years I had to be pulled from the match. I took my place on the benchand pouted_. _Samantha and I had been stapled to the _pine pony_, as she had called it, for most of my sophomore year after some rowdy behavior and poor playing. Thinking of Samantha and my old team made me long for the uncomplicated days of university when my biggest worry was revising for exams.

Being the only person attending my own pity party, I soon turned my eyes to the field. The team was doing well and I began to doubt my worth to them. Then I noticed Joe a few feet in front of me, dressed sharply in his black suit, completely intent on his side, cheering and shouting directions for the girls. This was his calling in life. He did it so well and he really loved it.

If I was the reason he lost his job, I would never forgive myself. He wouldn't be happy working in the bar again, nor would our relationship flourish with that kind of baggage or blame. What a mess we had made.

After the match, the girls went out. Sally assured me that I was welcome to go or even to meet up with them later in her room for their slumber party, but I politely declined. Earlier, I worried what my excuse would be for not going out as I usually did, but my poor performance brought me a true reason to be moping in my room instead of out celebrating our win. Their win, not mine.

Joe said nothing to me since calling me out of the game and did little more than glance at me the rest of the evening. When I got back to my room I curled up on my bed and turned the telly on to block the sneezes coming from the adjacent room. I didn't watch it. I just laid in bed. Around midnight I turned off the TV and got up to pace the room.

The sneezing from Joe's room continued and I desperately fought the need to go to him. Maybe he'd run out of tissues; I could get him some tea, possibly some aspirin. Just as I was about to knock on the adjoining door, I heard a knock and the same woman's raspy voice. I couldn't hear what was going on, but the door shut quickly. He sent her packing even faster this time.

Curiosity nudged my mind and I grabbed my ice bucket and headed out the door to get a glimpse of the woman. This was a bad idea. Once my door shut, the woman, who was almost halfway down the hall, turned quickly and glared at me. I stood frozen with what I hoped was a blank expression on my face. I recognized her at once, and I imagined she knew who I was as well.

Tall, blonde, and glaring, she was the coach from another team. The team we'd played for our opening match this season. She coached the girl who'd called me "Paki" and she didn't look happy to see me in my pajama pants and tank. I fought the urge to run into my room and hide, but now I felt the weight of my tantrum door slamming. She could very well cause Joe and me to lose our jobs. I hoped that Nina's assertion that blondes were stupid was true because if this woman could connect the dots, I was in trouble.

It seemed like I stood staring at her for minutes, but it was really seconds before she pivoted and stomped off. I blew the breath I'd been holding and tried to compose myself. I would have to tell Joe and the sooner the better.

Back in the room I paced a few more moments trying to figure out how I would tell him. He would be upset and I would have to beg him to forgive my stupidity. Nina forgot to mention that brunettes could be entirely stupid, as well.

When I finally worked up the nerve to knock on the door, Joe answered and I couldn't help but laugh. He stood before me in boxers and a shirt, hair disheveled, face red, and a tissue twisted into each of his nostrils. He rolled his eyes and tried to shut the door, but I held the door before he could shut it.

"Wait," I said between guffaws. "I…I have to talk to you." His shoulders sagged in defeat. "It's…" Just as I got control of myself, the end of the tissue popped out of one nostril. That started the fit of giggles again. I bent over and took a few cleansing breaths and tried to remember the severity of the situation.

As I stood up again Joe started, "You're supposed to love me, not mock me."

This softened my heart and I instantly gained control. "I do love you. You just looked so ridiculous." I tried not to smile too big as I guided him back to his bed. He let me tuck him in and then I sat beside him.

"Do you need anything?" I asked. "Ice, tissues, medicine?"

"I'm fine," he said pulling the tissue out of his nose and blowing it with a fresh tissue. "You still cranky?"

"About that…"

"Come to apologize?"

I hesitated, but he looked so pathetic, might as well get on with it. "You slept with a coach from another team."

"Yes," he confirmed calmly. "And?"

"She saw me." I watched his eyes widen. "I was curious and I popped out to get some ice and she saw me and recognized me and if she is any smarter than a ball bag, she knows about us," I spoke quickly and then winced, my eyes closed, waiting for him to explode. After a moment of his silence, I opened one eye and peeked at him. I must have looked silly because it was his turn to laugh at me.

"Wha? You think I'm gonna hit you or something?"

"Shut up," I said, pushing his arm.

"This is really bad. She knows I play for you, she could tell the club owners, she could get us fired, then what'll we do? I don't know about you, but I like my job."

"Me as well, but she's not much smarter than a ball bag, I promise," he said nonchalantly.

"You've got lovely taste in women, you know?" I teased.

"You are a hundred percent correct," he said. "You're the top pick. Without you, my relationship history would qualify me for a self-help book."

"I'm pretty sure we still need the self-help book."

Wiggling my way under his covers, I snuggled close to him, putting my head on his chest. He reached to turn the lamp off and then put his arms around me.

"You played like shit today," he said, as we laid in the dark. I could hear the smile as he said it, but I still shrunk in his grasp.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I've never seen your game off like that. Then when I put Mimi in for you, you just sat on the bench with this look of despair. Surely, it wasn't Greta that had you upset?"

"Greta?" I asked, then made the connection to the coach with the raspy voice. "Oh, no, it was just, well, it's a lot of things."

"Like?" he prodded.

"The team played well without me. They won. The girls are really improving and even Sally is growing into a very capable captain…"

"Hey now," Joe interrupted and pulled me closer. "I know where this is going and yes, we need you on this team."

"The team needs me or you need me?" I whispered.

"Both," he said with finality. "We're done with this. You are talented and you belong on this side. You earn every penny of that insane salary I pay you."

"The club chair pays me," I corrected, feeling lighter. "It's not like it comes out of your check or anything."

"Feels like it," he teased.

"I could go back to my room and leave you to your sneezing if you like?"

"No." He hugged me tighter. "You have to listen to me snore. It's your punishment for playing terribly tonight."

I hemmed and hawed, but really, I was glad to be safe in his arms. Snoring or not.

* * *

"I'm thinking about buying a new place," Joe said as I perused the airline magazine, _Spanish Sun_. I turned around, shocked.

"You could lose your job at any moment and you're shopping for new flats?" I asked.

"Haven't been sacked yet. Might as well find the new place while I have the pounds coming in," he said while shuffling papers in his play book.

"What's wrong with your old place?" I wedged the magazine into the seat pocket and leaned my seat back turning to see him.

"It's cramped and the shrine to my favorite footballer needs more wall space," he said smiling.

"No more shrines." I emphasized my point with a bop to the bill of his hat. "Your favorite footballer hasn't done so hot lately. She's been playing like shit, or so her coach says."

"Who do you think my favorite footballer is?" he asked innocently. "I was referring to Beckham." I shook my head and he smiled wolfishly. "You didn't think I was talking about you, did you?"

"Prat," I mumbled as I turned around and placed my chair in the upright position for landing.

* * *

As we stood at the luggage carousel, I noticed Liz staring at us. "You better back off. Your favorite ego is giving me dirty looks."

"Sometimes, I just want to kiss you in front of everyone," he whispered and then moved forward to grab a team bag off the carousel. I felt the blood drain from my face and saw him laugh at me. "I'm not going to," he assured me. "I'd just like to get her off my back."

"I'll be in the car," I said quietly.

Joe had given me his keys before the plane landed. This way he could take me home without concern of the team noticing. Tony had given him an employee tag before the trip so Joe didn't have to pay for parking and Tony didn't have to worry about taking me home.

A new boyfriend meant that I didn't see much of Tony, but I didn't mind. Joe and I were spending most of our free time together anyway. Soon, though, my parents would notice where the bulk of my time was being spent. I would have to come up with a story, or Joe and I would have to go public with my parents, again.

In the car, I waited with the stereo on and mulled over Joe's words about a new flat. He'd lived in the same place since I'd known him, what was different now?

Once we got on the road, I asked him just that.

"I really need more space," he said. "The place is tiny. I was actually thinking about a cottage."

"Really?" I asked surprised. He was thinking about spending a chunk of change, I didn't know he had it to spend. I supposed he was paid well, I should have known he'd have some money.

"Yeah, I've saved up a bit and I'm going to look at a few places this week. Do you want to come?"

"Uh, I guess. But, a cottage? Your commuting costs are going to be higher; you're so close to the pitch now. Don't you walk?"

"I think it'll be worth it."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Beta'd by gatorgrrrl. You guys are getting spoiled, two chapters in two days. It will probably be a week before I post the next one, but sadly…it will be the last, I think. Thanks for the love and encouragement.

**Chapter 8**

"If I have to hear about crown molding or refinished floors, I'm going to gag."

"This isn't the least bit fun to you?" Joe asked while opening my car door.

We were at cottage number six. Everyday for two weeks we'd gone house hunting and I was bored. Actually, I was bored after cottage number three, but Joe hadn't found the one he wanted. I was sure he had a list of every available place within a hundred-mile radius of London.

This one was pretty close to home. It wouldn't be more than a ten or fifteen minute drive to the pitch. The outside was stone, the landscaping was beautiful, and it reminded me of a fairy tale with its vines and cobbles.

"You suppose a wicked witch lives here?" I asked as we strolled, hand in hand, up the walkway.

"No. Actually, I know who lives here." There was a mischievous glint in his eye and that worried me. "It's Mr. Reid's place." I instantly dropped Joe's hand and narrowed my eyes at him.

"You mean the club chairman's house? That Mr. Reid?" As I spoke my voice became higher, but not loud. I didn't want to attract anyone's attention.

"Yeah." Joe tried to take my hand back, but I pulled it out of his grasp. "He's not here now, Jess," he tried to explain with a smile. "Mr. Reid lives full time in Liverpool. He bought this for his children, but they are grown now and none of them wanted it, so now he's selling it, and at a good price." He put an arm around me and walked me in. I was still tense, but he didn't seem to care.

"Where's the sales…" I started to ask, but was cut off.

"No talk of crown molding today, love, but I do believe the floors have been refinished." Joe guided me through the house. "I just picked up a key from Mr. Reid and I'll return it later. Want to see his favorite part?"

"I suppose," I said, still nervous that the club chairman might jump out and surprise us and sack us simultaneously.

We walked down a hall, passing a small formal dining area, a sitting room, and the kitchen. We reached a pair of French doors at the back of the house and I saw what was surely Mr. Reid's favorite part. There was just a small yard, maybe twenty meters by twenty meters, but on each side, miniature goals were set up.

"His kids played football when they were young, of course. They are all doctors and bankers now, but they wore out the grass here, dribbling and running. I think he mentioned something about a game they invented that was a cross between football and rugby. Really just football with tackling." Joe smiled while looking out on the miniature pitch.

"I think you're done looking," I said, looking up and smiling. His face held such contentment.

"Let's look at the rest of it," he said as he snapped out of the trance the garden had put him in.

* * *

"Do you want children, Joe?" The question popped out of my mouth before I'd really thought about it.

Joe started the car and pulled out slowly. I could see the wheels in his head turning. He wanted to phrase his answer carefully, I figured.

"Yes," he said. "But, I'm still young, I've got a few years before I get there." He didn't look at me, just at the road. I took a minute of comfortable silence to imagine what his children might look like, or maybe what our children would look like.

"That garden would be a perfect place to teach a child to play." He interrupted my musings with his first glance at me since I'd asked the question. His face was blank and I wondered what he might be hiding.

"It would." I pushed my hair behind my ears and looked out the passenger window.

"Do you…" he hesitated, taking a deep breath. "Do you want kids?"

There are moments in time that you know are turning points. They feel weighty and can be burdensome, but you want the moment to go forward, so you take the step, you make the call, or you answer the question. The problem was, I didn't know the answer to the question and I felt like it could be a make or break moment. I didn't want our relationship to go backwards, but I didn't know how to take the step.

I settled on the truth, figuring it would keep us static for while. "I don't know." Joe seemed to relax and he chuckled a bit to himself. "What?"

"That's a good answer," he said, as if he had discerned the turning point as well. "I don't know how I would have reacted if you didn't."

"What if I decide I don't?" I asked cautiously. Joe put his hand on my knee and turned to me with a half smile.

"You run your own life; it's your decision," he said. "But not knowing is as good to me as a 'maybe'."

I shrugged and turned again to the window. "You gonna buy the cottage?"

"Yeah, I think I am."

* * *

"You're Indian, how could you not want children? It's ingrained in our minds from so young, it's the Sikh way," Tony said while stealing a chip from my plate.

"Get your own!" I said, before taking his soda and drinking from it. "Let me have a bite of your fish?"

"Nah." I glared and he relented. "Fine," he said while grabbing my chicken sandwich.

"Do you want kids, Tony?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure how that is gonna work out…" he said, smiling. "But Joe's right. We're young; we've got time to figure it out. You, especially."

"I love Pinky's boys, but, they drool and they scream, and they poop! Aw, talk about being _in the shit_."

This was a rare day when Tony and I went out to lunch. His boyfriend was out of town and mine was busy signing papers on his new place.

I felt I should have this talk with Tony and not my sister. Pinky was great for advice, but this would be a sticky situation. She would judge me and I didn't need that right now. I also feared she wouldn't think I was fit to be a mum. Maybe that was just a worry _I _harbored.

"How about you and Gene?" I finished his Coke before he replied. "Not going well, huh?"

"It's alright. I just, I dunno…" Tony pushed a hand through his hair. "He wants nothing to do with being Indian. I value my heritage; he wants nothing to do with his. I can't even eat Indian food without getting a lecture on the oppressive nature of the culture. It's a bit irritating."

"You're lucky with Joe," Tony said. "He doesn't mind your family or the fact that you're Indian. He's a real keeper, Jess."

"The problem is how do I keep my job and my 'keeper'? Your guess is as good as mine…" I stood up and pulled my coat on. "It's so cold, I'll be glad to have the break from being outside."

"About that, how do you survive as a professional athlete with things like a winter break?" Tony asked as he pulled on his own coat. "Ten weeks without working; how d'you live? I mean, I guess it's easy for you being with your parents an' all, but what about the other girls on salary?"

"You just save, I guess." We made it to the car and I waited for him to unlock it. "That's what I do, anyway."

"Can't Joe get another coaching position?" Tony asked as if it were the easiest thing in the world. "Doesn't the men's side want him?"

"He's head coach for the girls. The only position the men's side has is assistant. It's a pay cut and he's signing papers for a new house today. Not really a good idea, yeah?"

"You think anyone has cottoned on?"

"Joe doesn't think so, but I dunno. The showoff Liz wants me sacked, but I don't think she knows anything." As we pulled up at my house, I undid my seat belt. "I think the coach from Surrey knows something, but Joe brushes it off."

"Surrey's the team with the racist, yeah?"

"Yeah," I answered as we walked into my parents' house. I dropped my keys on the table and hollered for my mum. "I'm back!"

"Jessie?" my mother called from the kitchen.

"It's me and Tony," I said on my way back to the kitchen. "We're gonna watch the match."

"Joe called, dear." She was washing a large pan. "He said to call his mobile, something about buying a new house. Such a good boy, he will make a wonderful husband for some lucky girl."

Tony tried not to laugh, while I rolled my eyes. "I'll call him. Do you mind if he comes to dinner?"

"No, no." She fussed over her pan. "He needs more meat on his bones. Tony, you'll stay, as well?"

"No Auntie, I've got to work in a few hours," he said politely. "Another time."

"Working is good; keeps you out of trouble."

"Okay, Mum, we'll be upstairs." I had to drag Tony. He wanted to see if he could bait my mother with more of her 'Joe's too skinny' routine.

"Not really skinny. Fit, but not skinny," Tony said as he plopped onto my bed. I took a seat in my desk chair and turned the telly on. "She keeps loading him up with Indian food and he won't be fit anymore."

"Shut up," I said as I picked up my phone.

* * *

"You look beat," I said to Joe as I walked him out after dinner. "The papers really that difficult?"

"No." He took my hand and leaned against his car. "I'm going to have to sack Liz."

"Thank goodness," I said, but Joe looked disappointed. "You're not upset about it, are you?"

"I hate doing it." Joe pulled my hands into his pockets to keep them warm against the early December chill. "She's been on an extended trial, really, but she's been nothing but trouble, so it has to be done. I can't imagine she'll go easily."

"It's best for the team," I said sympathetically. "Can I do it for you?" I said eagerly.

"I don't think you've got the finesse for firing someone," he said. "Especially someone you hate."

"Is it just that, or is something else bothering you?"

"Liz knows she's being tossed, so stay away from her," he warned. "She's got it out for you and I don't want something happening."

"There you go again, telling me what to do." I smiled letting him know that I wasn't serious. "When will you move?"

"After the final match this weekend," he answered. "You'll help me? I have no idea where to put anything. Needs a woman's touch, yeah?"

"You won't be able to entertain ladies," I joked.

"There's only one, and she's me girlfriend."

I leaned in to kiss him and pushed back the thought that we stood in the open street, risking our own jobs.

* * *

"That's bollocks!"

Liz was throwing a tantrum about being sacked. She'd been in Joe's office for all of three minutes before her voice could be heard all over the pitch.

"I've brought loads of talent to this team!"

Those of us coming out of the changing room cringed at her high pitch and the idea that she was needed on the team.

"What do you know about talent, anyway? If you had any, you'd be playing for a men's side, not coaching girls!"

Liz stormed into the bleachers and just barely missed Sally on her way out. I turned back to grab the equipment bag and ended up being shoved into the wall. That wouldn't have been so bad, but she tossed me sideways and I lost balance and fell, twisting my left ankle. It wasn't bad, a little tape from the trainer did it well, but Joe suggested I rest. We compromised with me going easy on it, but still practicing.

"I knew something like this would happen. Is it sore?" he asked as he unwrapped the tape after practice. I sat on a chair in front of his desk in his office, he sat in the other.

"A little," I answered as he tested the range of motion. "I'll be fine. It's nothing, really."

"I wish you'd stay off it, but I know you make your own choices," he remarked lightly.

"I went easy on it," I defended.

"I know, I saw." He tickled my toes and I pulled my foot away. "We've got the game on Saturday and I need you out there."

"Got it, Coach." I said cheekily with a mock salute.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted from the door of Joe's office. We both turned, but Joe didn't seem surprised at the girl standing in the doorway. I, on the other hand, was shocked. I looked at Joe and he looked back at Jules.

"Hey, come to sign your papers, right?" Joe said cordially.

"Papers? What's going on?" I asked Joe, my face growing red with anger.

"There's a position on the team, Jules is back in town. It's perfect timing…" Joe tried to continue but I was already gathering my things as best I could without putting too much weight on my ankle.

"Where's my bloody shoe?" I growled in frustration.

"You can't be serious…you've gone mental if you think she's here for any other reason than to play on this team!" Joe defended as he handed me my shoe. "Jules, come back, Jess is on her way out, you've got papers to sign."

"Jules is here, you didn't tell me about it, and now she's playing on my team, I've got to go," I yelled while putting my shoe on.

"It slipped my mind yesterday with the house and having to sack Liz."

"Expect me to believe that, do ya? Bloody convenient, innit? Slipped your mind," I scoffed. I tried to stand up, but my bag got caught on the desk, pulling me back down, making me look like an idiot. Embarrassed and cranky I stood up again. "Bye."

"No!" Joe said. I was surprised at the force that he used.

"What do you mean 'no'?" I asked, incredulous.

"You have to work with her, she's here, she's going to be on the team, and we are all grown people." He ran his hand through his short hair and glanced towards Jules. "The two of you used to be the best of friends. Can't you at least play nice on the pitch? I know Jules is willing, why won't you try?"

"No! Friends don't sleep with their friend's boyfriends," I said childishly.

Jules stood in the door, still, looking down at her feet. Joe shook his head. "Grow up Jess," he said harshly, then took a deep breath. "She's going to be on the team. You two play well together, it's a good dynamic for the team. Can't you think of what's best for the team?"

"'What's best for the team'?" I hissed. "How dare you accuse me of being selfish? Why can't you see how it looks? You didn't tell me she was back. Here I am, ambushed by her and you, and it's all a little aggravating."

"Nobody meant to ambush you," he yelled, frustrated.

"Have you had a go at him yet, Jules?" I snapped at her, my eyes narrowed. She wouldn't even look at me. "He did leave early last night after dinner."

"That's it." Joe slammed his fist on the desk. "I'm calling Tony to take you home. Stay off your ankle, report to Coach Reilly in the morning. I want nothing to do with you."

"What?" I asked. I was confused by the finality in his tone.

"I've told you over and over that Jules and I meant nothing. You and I weren't involved and Jules and I aren't now. If you can't forgive me then I'm tired of wasting time with you. This is a roadblock that you can't move past, so I'm moving. I love you, but I'm not risking my job for someone who won't forgive me." His brow was furrowed and he huffed in irritation.

Schooling my face into a scowl, instead of the tears that were dammed at my eyes, I headed for the door. Once there, I screamed like a small child, "Fine!" Then I left.

* * *

Tony got me in the house and helped me up the stairs. He didn't ask what happened; I'm not sure he wanted to know. Propping my foot up on my bed, he asked for the short version.

"I think Joe just ditched me," I said, fresh tears filling my eyes. "Don't tell my mum, all right? I need some time to figure this out."

"Yeah, I told her you hurt your ankle, so I expect she'll be up soon with ice, but just tell her the pain is what's causing the crying." He smiled awkwardly and squeezed my hand before going back to work.

I composed myself enough that when my mother came in, she assumed I was in pain. She retrieved some aspirin and went on her way, giving me time to go over Joe's words.

* * *

I'm not entirely sure how I came to the decision that talking to him would help, but I stood on his doorstep, hoping I wouldn't look foolish. I would need to apologize for accusing Jules of shagging him recently. He was surely offended by that. Then I'd need to find a way to work with Jules. But first things first.

"What are you doing here?" Joe answered the door quickly. His face seemed long and he was clearly as upset as I was. "I hope you didn't walk here."

"Nah, took my dad's car. Can I come in?" I asked meekly. He didn't say anything, just turned and walked back in, leaving the door open for me. I found him pulling books off a shelf and packing them haphazardly into a box.

"You'll ruin your stuff like that," I remarked. "You need to do it like this, may I?" I gestured to an empty box and Joe nodded reluctantly. I grabbed some books and sorted them neatly into the box. "I've packed boxes a million times since going away to university. I suppose you haven't had many to pack, living here for the last six years."

"What do you want Jess? Why are you here?" he asked sharply.

"I, I came to apologize, for what I said." I looked at him and hoped that he'd listen to me and not toss me out.

"Go on then." He raised his eyebrows waiting for me to continue.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you, I'm sorry that I lost my temper, I'm sorry things are so out of sorts," I blurted out.

Joe didn't move. He hardly breathed.

"Say something…"

"Are you going to move past it?" he asked, his face stern.

"I don't know." I hesitated for a moment. "It's just not fair."

"S'not fair?" He raised his voice. "What? You think I'm ditching you to shag her? You're mental if you believe that! You want to have sex so that you can one up her? So you'll feel better about yourself and our relationship?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"Well, too bad, because I won't participate. That isn't how it should be. It won't make you feel better. It's just one of those things you have to get over." Joe grabbed my face and held it gently. "Please. Forgive me, forgive her, and move on." His face was sad and his eyes were pleading.

I felt the tears on my face and shook my head, pulling myself free of his grasp. "I can't."

* * *

Sleep was, understandably, elusive. I tried to read, I tried watching old matches on tape and I tried listening to music. I couldn't concentrate on any one thing and I just kept coming back to my betrayal.

Jules, Joe, and I used to be good friends. The first year I came home for the summer we'd done nothing but spend time with each other. I felt a stab of jealousy at a memory of the two of them going out without me one night. What did they do? Did it start then? I was consumed with thoughts of the two of them. I tried desperately to push those thoughts away. Joe wouldn't lie; I knew that much. Nothing had really happened besides their tryst almost a year ago.

My personal life was in shambles, but my professional life would be fine. There would be no need to worry about keeping my position on the team. If anyone had found us out, there'd be nothing to tell. No relationship to defend or hide, because now it was over. I should be thankful to Jules for straightening that out, but instead I was a mess.

The thought of never laughing with Joe again physically hurt. My room seemed a dark cave to hide from the world and I was happy to camp here for weeks. After this upcoming match, it would be weeks that I wouldn't see him. The break I was looking forward to now seemed a punishment. Childish behavior would bring me two months without Joe.

That was the hardest thing. This was my fault. It was me who couldn't forgive and forget. He understood about so many things and now the blame lay with me. It was always me.

When I broke it off years before, it was really my fault. Now years later, it was my fault again.


	9. Chapter 9

Okay, sorry it took me so long, but real life intervened

Okay, sorry it took me so long, but real life intervened. I'm moving to Japan in 37 days and I've got a boat load of stuff to do. Luckily, I've finished this so you guys can enjoy. I know many of you are sad it's over, but try this chapter on for size and notice how it is open to a sequel? Just give me a few months to get settled in Japan and I'll be back to writing for the fandom in no time.

Thanks for reading, reviewing, and obsessing with me. I cherish many of your comments. ;)

Also, if any of you have LiveJournal's, gatorgrrrl and I are going to set up a Bend it Like Beckham community over there. We want fics, graphics, fanvids and just general chattiness about the fandom. I'd like to see it grow a little larger. So, friend me over at LJ for updates on that.

This was ever so kindly and grammatically beta'd by gatorgrrrl.

**Chapter 9**

The team welcomed Jules back with hugs and cheers. Except me, I kept a fake smile on my face and Jules knew it. I skipped practice the day before, electing instead to come for the match. Coach Reilly took the excuse of my ankle and thought nothing of it.

"Isn't it great, Jess?" Sally asked me while we changed for the match. "With the two of you back together, there's no way we'll lose to Surrey, assuming you don't get ejected again."

"I'll do my best," I said, smiling slightly. "You'll do warm ups today, yeah? I'm taking it easy on the ankle."

"Right," she said, bursting with excitement at our improved chances.

I was the last one left in the locker room. Wrapping my ankle took a little extra time, especially when doing it myself.

"You should let a trainer do that for you," Jules said, walking back in.

"It's no problem," I said coldly. "Best to get out there. You've only had the one practice with the team and the warm ups will do you good."

"I'm sorry, Jess."

She was sorry? I couldn't stomach that she helped put my life in the shambles it was in and I flipped. "For coming back or shagging my boyfriend?"

"Both." She sat down across from me. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I don't want to hear about it. I don't want excuses," I said harshly.

"You can't be upset forever," she said. "Joe loves you, not me. Always has. Don't throw that out because he and I were pissed one night. It was ages ago and you two weren't together. He could be yours now, but maybe you don't want him.

"Maybe you prefer it this way so that your career stays intact and you can live your dream of playing football," Jules' voice raised as she lectured me. "You've been playing a long time. Can't you see you're already living that dream? Don't you have new dreams yet, like being with Joe? Why isn't that a dream you're willing to work for?

"For football you lied to your parents, you were caught over and over again, and you still did it. You missed half your sister's bloody wedding. You flew to America when you had never been away from your family longer than a weekend. Why isn't your relationship with Joe worth that kind of pursuit? It should be worth that. You are lucky to have him -- someone who knows you and loves you and accepts you. Do for him what you did for football."

Jules words pierced my heart. I recognized the truth in them and wished I could talk to Joe now. Fight for him now. Tell him that I could move on, I could forgive.

"How does it end?" I asked softly. She looked at me, perplexed so I clarified. "What do we do? Our lives are so entangled in the game, the club. Our livelihood depends on our jobs. How do we fix it?"

"I don't know, but you should try. Surely he deserves that."

Before I knew what I was doing I stood and pulled Jules into a hug. "Thank you," I said smiling. "Let's go play some football, yeah?"

* * *

Jules and I walked onto the field together, smiling and laughing. I couldn't really talk to Joe before the match, but I tried to smile at him. I wanted him to see I could grow up and move on. He didn't notice, but I needed to focus on the game anyway.

I was so caught up in the events of the last few days, I nearly forgot it was Surrey we were playing. The team with the girl Tony called 'the racist.' The team with the coach that could spill our secret. That is, if I still had a secret relationship to salvage.

Glancing about, I caught sight of Greta, the coach. She just happened to be talking to the girl who had it in for me. Fantastic. Maybe they were conspiring.

As warm-ups finished, we headed in so that Joe could give marching orders. I tried again to give him a sign that I wanted to move past everything, but there is only so much you can do when surrounded by twenty sweaty girls. I was hurt that he didn't even look at me.

The game was slow to start and my ankle was already bothering me. This wouldn't do. I held back and let the girls take most of the play. As it happened, I ended up with the ball and there was no one to pass it to, so I began to dribble down the pitch looking for an opening.

Out of nowhere, I was knocked to the ground, as if I'd been tackled rugby style. I heard and felt bones crack -- what I assumed were ribs -- as big arms crunched and pushed me to the ground. It must have been my ribs because as I lay on the ground, it became harder to breathe. I didn't even try to get up and my vision started to go blurry from the pain. I heard the official's muffled voice throwing a player out of the game, but what I heard clearly was Joe.

"Give her some room, get a medic!" he shouted frantically. "Bhamra, where does it hurt, what's the matter?"

I tried to speak, but trying to push air out and speak was excruciating. "Jesus, Jess..." Joe's voice was strained and through the haze of pain my first thought was he still wanted me, my second was that our secret affair was about to become public knowledge.

"Jess…we're gonna get you on a gurney, and then off to hospital for you." He held my hand tight, I vaguely recognized the medics from the team and realized they were here to get me to the hospital, but I didn't feel anything but Joe's hand on mine.

"I've got to…" Joe stopped talking to me and starting talking to someone else. "Mrs. Bhamra, go with her to the hospital." Joe let go of my hand and my mother's hand replaced his. My mother must have come down from the stands. She would know about Joe and me, too. It's funny the things you think about when you've been hurt badly. Surely, my life could have flashed before my eyes or something, but instead, I worried about my secret love life.

"Ba ba, Jessie, it's going to okay," my mother tried to soothe me, but I wasn't feeling calm.

"Joe…" I managed to rasp out. Everyone would know anyway, might as well ask for what I really wanted. "Joe."

"What is it, love? What do you need?" He bent his head and kissed me softly. "It's going to be alright, I'll come with you." Joe turned and spoke to someone I couldn't see, but I assumed it was one of the assistant coaches. "I've got to go, you've got the team."

* * *

The hospital was a blur. I was wheeled in and out of many rooms. I'm sure I had x-rays, and I remember Joe not letting go of me the whole time, but not much else. I fought with my body to keep conscious but it wasn't working. When I thought I'd mastered keeping my eyes open, they would rebel and close again.

When I woke I was in my room at home. My midsection felt as if it was wrapped tightly. My arms felt heavy, but I managed to move one to my stomach. Sure enough, it was wrapped in some sort of medical gauze or tape, or a combination of the two. I couldn't move well enough to do anything, so I just lay still for a while, staring at my ceiling.

A few minutes passed before I realized I wasn't alone in my room. There was light breathing and an occasional sound of movement from my right side. I mustered up the energy to glance that way and found Joe sitting awkwardly in my desk chair, asleep. My door was open, but I couldn't believe that he could convince my mother to let him up here, un-chaperoned, even if I was unconscious.

"Joe," I said. My mouth was dry and my voice surprised me with its hoarse sound.

He woke instantly, his face full of fear and worry. Moving the chair carefully closer to the bed he tried to smile.

"Hey there, beautiful," he said, pushing hair off my forehead. "Does it hurt?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes a minute as he stroked my face. "Can you get me some water?" I asked, opening my eyes.

Joe obliged and had a cup with a straw on my desk. I wanted to drink the whole glass, but my throat wouldn't cooperate.

"My mum let you sit up here?" My voice was working better now and there was no itchiness when I spoke.

"Yeah," he said and chuckled softly. "There were rules, though. The door has to be open, I can't remove my bottom from this chair and if you wake, I'm supposed to get her. You think she'll still want me to get her? It's the middle of the night."

"She'll want you to, but wait a bit, let me get my bearings." I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. "What happened?"

"Number eight thought she was playing American football. Since racial insults didn't have their desired effect last season, she moved onto breaking bones." A small humorless laugh escaped his mouth. "She was red carded out of the game, but there won't be any disciplinary action past that, despite my suggestions." He scoffed and continued. "Your ankle is fine, which is good, because you landed oddly on it."

"Ribs…" I started, but Joe interrupted me.

"You broke three ribs, but they'll heal easily." He placed a hand on my right side. "These three, about here." He gently touched my shirt to show which bones. "Doctor says you'll be able to play in about ten weeks, give or take a week. It will hurt for a while, but that's why you've got the pain meds. Are you in any pain now?"

I shook my head. "But it feels tight around my stomach, and I feel like I'm out of breath."

"Doctor said that'll pass in a few days time." He scooted his chair a bit closer and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "I was so worried."

"I'm so sorry about Jules and the fight…" Joe stopped me, his face brighter.

"Jules already came by and told me about the two of you talking. I'm glad it's worked out. No need to talk about it."

"Do either of us have jobs?" I asked cautiously. His face tensed for a moment, then relaxed just as quickly.

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," I squeaked out. "You just bought a new place and you've bills and…" He cut me off with a gentle hand over my mouth.

"I don't know yet, I'll talk to the club chair tomorrow, I imagine," he said calmly. "Nothing's been decided, or won't be until we both have a chance to talk to him. I forgot the rule about getting you excited; I'm not to do it." He raised his eyebrows and removed his hand from my mouth. "So, now I'll fetch your mum."

My mother brought me broth, even though I said I didn't want it. She fussed over me and checked my bandages. All the while, Joe sat in his chair, just like she demanded.

"Jessie," my mother asked when Joe stepped out for a minute. "How long have you been in love with that boy?"

"Only since I met him, Mum," I said serenely. Must have been the pain medication talking. "But we have been seeing each other since the trip to California. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just…"

"It's okay, dear," my mother broke in. "He's sweet and loves you, I worry and I wish you would have told me." She continued mumbling endearments in Punjabi as she puttered about the room. As Joe came back in, she pushed his chair back to its original position near the desk and gestured for him to sit.

"You won't dye your hair blue, will you?" she asked Joe concerned. I tried to laugh, but it hurt, so I settled for a weak smile. Joe shook his head and looked confused. "Good, I'll check on you in the morning, but go to sleep." She handed Joe a pillow and gave him a stern look, then went back to her room.

"Why does she care about my hair color?"

"It's nothing," I said before yawning. "You'll stay tonight?"

"Yes," he whispered as he pulled my blankets up around me.

* * *

I slept most of the next day. But when I woke, there were flowers all around my room. Joe sat in his chair shuffling papers from his play book and crossing things out here and there.

"What time is it?"

"It's after two," he said looking up to smile at me. "Feel rested, ya bum?"

"The flowers?"

"From the team, the club chair, and every relative in the British Isles," he explained. "You do have a lot of family."

I looked around at the arrangements, too many to count, that covered all the surfaces in my room. Bright roses, daffodils, lilies, and poppies lit up my room. Joe pulled a basket off the desk and waved it in front of me.

"These are from me. Do you like them?" he asked unsure.

"They're all beautiful," I said, feeling overwhelmed. "Wait, did you say Mr. Reid sent flowers?"

"Yeah, he wishes you a speedy recovery," Joe said, the corners of his mouth twitching upward.

"So you've talked to him?" I asked anxiously. "What did he say? Are we sacked? You or me or both or what?"

Now Joe was smiling wide. "I've violated the 'don't get you excited rule' again."

"Stop winding me up and tell me what happened!"

"I see you're feeling better. Well enough to yell at me," Joe teased. I tried to smack him but his chair was too far away.

"We've both got jobs."

"How? We broke the rules. Surely there will be some consequences?" I asked, concerned. It seemed too good to be true.

"Well, I won't be your coach anymore," Joe explained. "And we'll be suspended for twelve weeks. But, that's long enough for you to heal and it's over the break, so it shouldn't be too painful."

"But…" I realized sadly that he would be taking a pay cut and a demotion. "The men's side, of course. I'm sorry."

"It's gonna be rough, but I'll handle it," he said factiously. "He's giving me the head coaching position. Stanley Trump is retiring. I prefer the women, but the men's team is a good way out of our mess."

"Why was he so generous?"

"Mr. Reid said he was counting on this happening." Joe chuckled to himself. "He's offered me positions with the men's side at least once a month for the past two years, but I love this team, so I always turned him down. He said he'd hoped we'd become involved when I brought him the offer for you."

"He planned this? I don't know whether to be offended or to send him flowers." I smiled. "I'm dating the men's side head coach," I said proudly. "That's brilliant. Who'll coach the girls?"

"I get to hire my replacement. You can help me," he said, handing me a few papers. "Here are all the resumes. Surely, someone in here will do a proper job."

We spent the rest of the day watching tapes and reading resumes of the best candidates for the job. My mother interrupted us every so often checking the position of Joe's chair and making sure I drank water and didn't move too much.

"If I have to do this for days on end, I'm going to go crazy," I said to Joe.

"The resumes aren't that bad," Joe said with a smile.

"You know that's not what I meant." I rolled my eyes and handed him the resume I was looking at. "This one could be promising."

"Nah, too cranky," Joe said, turning up his nose.

"You're too picky. There are at least four brilliant candidates here. You've got a new job, no need to worry about us girls. We'll be fine."

"Not likely," he said. "Two of the four you handed me are prats about women and football. I don't even know how they got into the pool." He pulled out two more resumes. "These two are too young, no need for more coach player dating problems." He winked at me. "This one thinks you're cute, so he's out."

"What? Which one?" I tried to grab at the resumes and he pulled them away. "Is there a picture of him?"

"It's a damn good thing I get to pick the replacement. You'd go for the first bloke with an accent, I think," he teased. "You're stuck with me. Really, you think you could find another boyfriend who'd jump through your family's hoops?"

"True," I conceded. "I still can't believe my parents are being so accommodating."

"Well, I asked if I could take you to my new place and believe it or not, they didn't really bite on that."

"No?" I laughed lightly. "Who's going to help you move?"

"A couple of my mates," Joe said. "Hopefully, all my things will make it there in one piece, especially since you won't be able to pack any boxes."

"Joe, you bloody goreh, c'mere." Pinky appeared at my bedroom door.

"Hey, I haven't seen you. Where ya been?" I asked her. She waved and gestured again for Joe to join her in the door way.

I couldn't imagine what they were talking about, but as soon as Joe reached the door he closed it gently behind him. Confused at the action, I tried to come up with logical reasons he could be talking to Pinky. They didn't really get along. What were they doing? Maybe there was a call for him, but he had his mobile with him. Maybe she needed his help for heavy lifting? That was grasping at straws a bit. Surely Teetu would help her with that sort of thing. They must not be telling me everything about my injury. Maybe I wouldn't be back on the pitch in two months time.

At that thought, my heart began to race. It couldn't be that. Joe would have been honest with me, or at least my mother would have been. Why would they lie? But then again, I didn't remember much about the trip to the hospital. Had I blocked it out due to mental anguish?

I desperately fumbled for my chest. Feeling the bandages and checking my arms, and what I could reach with out pain, of the rest of my body. My ankle. Joe had mentioned something about my ankle, I couldn't reach it, but I could move my blanket enough to see it. Just as I pulled my blanket off, the door opened again.

"Jessie!" my mother screeched. "You'll catch a cold that way. Sick people must be covered!" she ordered.

"Mum," I whined, hiding my fear. "I'm not sick. Just hurt, I won't get sick without a blanket. How's my foot look?" I tried to ask nonchalantly.

"Fine, dear, it was hardly hurt in the accident," she soothed. "See?" She pulled the blanket off so I could see my left foot. "No need to worry."

"Where's Pinky?"

"Oh, just downstairs." My mother walked about the bed, fluffing pillows and moving things around needlessly. "She'll be up soon, I expect. I've made biryani. Pinky will bring it up for you."

"I haven't seen Dad, is he okay?" I asked.

"He's been in and out, working long hours this week."

Joe opened the door, bearing a tray of food. "Feeding time at the zoo."

"Thanks," I pulled myself up to rest against the headboard. "Does my ankle look swollen to you?" I asked, concerned. Joe lifted the blanket as my mother huffed about me catching cold.

"What did Pinky want with you?" I asked as he felt around my ankle clinically.

"Nothing. Just another 'hurt her, you die' speech," he said absently as he rubbed the back of my ankle. "It feels fine, looks fine. Does it hurt?"

"No. I just, well, it's nothing, never mind." I brushed it off as hysteria due to pain pills and took my lunch tray. "I'm glad you're here. I mean, I'm glad that we're out in the open," I said lamely.

Joe laughed. "It does feel nice to be out of the shadows, yeah?"

"Refreshing, really. It's weird. My parents are fine, our jobs are secure. It's like a fairy tale ending or something."

"Why an ending? Why not a beginning?" Joe smiled. He chewed on his bottom lip a moment, checking around the room for visitors. Standing from his chair, he leaned down and kissed me. Just one more of those kisses that I would catalogue and remember for a long time.


End file.
